


Merlin Le Fay

by Wanda_Zatara



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Demonic Possession, Depression, F/F, Gay, Gay Sex, M/M, Mutual Pining, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-07-29 09:09:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20079715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wanda_Zatara/pseuds/Wanda_Zatara
Summary: An alternate universe in which Morgana was never a villain, Merlin is possessed by a changeling called Emrys and becomes Arthur's greatest enemy and greatest love. Arthur could barely handle Merlin as a servant, how can he possibly handle him as a sorcerer lover and a dangerous fae nemesis? Can the Fae Emrys Le Fay and Merlin hope to form a bond? Or will they destroy each other...(There will eventually be smut down the line, gratuitous violence, and death. If these trigger you or make you uncomfortable I recommend not reading.)





	1. Blue Eyes and Blue faes

Merlin raced down the stone hallways of the castle, his pounding footsteps echoing loudly against the walls. People cursed and shouted at him as he crashed into people or startled them. He didn’t care, one thing was on his mind… Arthur. His life was in danger, Merlin stumbled and cursed his damn clumsy and awkward legs. His breath corroded his throat, and his cheeks burned with exertion. He prayed to all the elder gods that he was in time, he couldn’t fail his destiny before Arthur had even ascended the throne. He finally started to see potential in the dollop head, it couldn’t be lost now.  
Arthur was still asleep but stirred at the sound of his door slamming open, completely oblivious to the blue-gray creature resting on his chest. Merlin’s eyes widened at the sight of it, it was smooth and looked almost made out of stone. It was humanoid but resembled a featureless marionette doll. What Merlin assumed was the head was facing him with voids for eyes, completely blank, the faceless monster bore into his soul. Gaius had said it was a changeling, a fae creature meant to take the place of someone after it killed the original person. It could look like an exact copy, but the personalities they grew were almost always the flaws, vices, and deepest darkest parts of the original person, creating a nightmare in place of the slain person.  
Without thinking Merlin began chanting a binding spell, meant to trap the creature in its own form. A sound like the roaring wind filled Merlin’s ears, the fae was screaming at him as it turned and leapt at Merlin. He never wavered until the spell finished, golden magic crushing it to the ground and causing his eyes to glow. It skidded on the floor and collided with his feet, he grimaced and moved to back away from it.  
“Merlin?” Arthur was sitting up in bed, shirtless as usual, staring at him in shock and awe.  
“What did you just do?” Merlin opened his mouth to fein obliviousness, or make up an excuse for anything Arthur might have witnessed but instead a hissing noise sounded. Merlin looked down at the creature as it fizzed and appeared to melt and move toward Merlin. He stumbled backwards as the blue-gray liquid travelled up his legs. He tried to use magic to fling it off him but the mass seeped into his chest before he could focus. He cried out in pain, it felt like his heart was hardening. His breath caught in his lungs, each breath was harder to take than the last.  
“Merlin!” Arthur called as he rushed to his side, it was hard to focus on anything, his eyes felt so tired as he locked eyes with Arthur.  
“I’m sorry Arthur…” he said faintly smiling up at him.  
“It’s been an honor serving you, you prat.” He said before his eyes shut and he became numb to the whole world. At least the prince was safe and those beautiful blue eyes would be the last thing he saw, even if they were full of concern. 

When Merlin awoke he first became aware of how sft his bed was. He sighed in comfort, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept on something so soft. Had he enchanted his bed in Gaius’ spare room? He couldn’t remember and decided he didn’t care. He was so soft and relaxed, Arthur hadn’t woken him for anything, Gaius hadn’t called for chores and soon Merlin felt himself slipping and falling back into rest when he felt a firm hand on his shoulder.  
“Ugh five more minutes…” he groaned with a tired voice.  
“Merlin!” Arthur’s voice shot him straight out of bed.  
“Yes sire!” He answered habitually only to be confused when Arthur wasn’t mad or towering over him. Instead Arthur was seated beside him in a chair that looked far less comfortable than the bed. Arthur looked like he himself had just woken up, he had a ridiculous cow lick in his blonde locks but he had the biggest brightest grin on his face. While puzzling over all of these things at once he was once again thrown into confusion when Arthur hugged him so tightly it almost hurt. Merlin smiled despite the confusion and hugged his prince back.  
“Sire? I’m grateful but what’s the occasion?” Arthur pulled back still grinning, it looked like there were tears in the corners of his eyes. What the hell had happened?  
“Merlin what’s the last thing you remember?” Merlin scrunched up his face as he tried to recall what had happened yesterday. Something about running, Arthur’s eyes,and the changeling… oh shit. Arthur seeing him use magic on a faerie creature.  
“Uhhh, well what’s the last thing you remember sire?” Arthur rolled his eyes.  
“Merlin it’s okay, I know you have magic.” Merlin paused.  
“What’s magic, I don’t I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” He said flailing about and looking around for something to distract Arthur with only to realize he was in a tent.  
“Merlin focus.” Arthur said with a snap and Merlin looked back at Arthur.  
“It’s okay I promise, I know about you, Gaius, everything. It’s okay.”  
“B-but-”  
“Merlin please, what’s the last thing you remember?” Arthur said still smiling.  
“Um well there was a changeling that was attacking you and I had to stop it, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I just-”  
“Shh, Merlin please. It’s okay there’s more important things to talk about.” That made Merlin shut up, especially as Arthur’s mouth formed an almost pained line.  
“Merlin that happened almost a month ago. You’ve been recovering from that attack until now. Gaius… he didn’t know if you’d ever wake up.” Arthur said placing his hand on Merlin’s shoulder.” Merlin felt his mouth hang open. He then pulled Arthur into a hug once more.  
“Oh my god, what, what all has happened?” Merlin asked feeling himself start shaking. He remembered thinking he was going to die.  
“The first thing you said was five more minutes you idiot.” Arthur said chuckling making Merlin blush. Arthur pulled back grinning once more.  
“It’s quite a long story. I guess I better start with the rebellion against my father.” Arthur said thinking back.  
“The WHAT!?”


	2. Fracturing the House of Pendragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lot has happened while Merlin has been playing sleeping beauty. Arthur's journey hasn't been an easy one, especially without his best friend and recently discovered sorcerer. Maybe Arthur has realizes how much Merlin has been helping behind the scenes, but then again, it is Arthur.

"Will he be alright Gaius?" Arthur asked as he stared at Merlin, he was paler than usual. He looked so frail, despite apparently wielding so much power.  
"It's difficult to say your majesty. Fae magic is very potent and wild in the best of cases, and unfortunately changelings are some of the worst." Gaius looked so concerned for his apprentice. It broke Arthur's heart.  
"Gaius, I saw him use magic. Has he always... you know. Been this way?" He said struggling for words. Gaius gave him a pointed look.  
"Yes your majesty. I'm afraid Merlin was born a sorcerer and a powerful one at that."  
"But, he isn't evil." Arthur said gesturing helplessly.  
"I am well aware Arthur, I don't believe Merlin has an evil bone in his body." Arthur had to agree to that.  
"Gaius, tell me truthfully. Has he always been using magic to help me?" Gaius stared at him long and hard, his hands clasped in front of him. He let out a little sigh as if giving into himself.  
"Yes, there have been many times Merlin has used his magic to save you. But if he is to be punished I accept full responsibility, I guided many of his actions, he answered to me alone." Arthur held up a hand. With his suspicions confirmed he had to think. So many mysteries began making sense, little oddities about Merlin. Thinking through his memories it became easier and easier to spot times Merlin had used magic or done the impossible. Arthur was beginning to think he wasn't all that observant, and more importantly informed about magic.  
"Don't worry Gaius, I don't intend to put Merlin in the stocks... again." he said rubbing his temples.  
"After all he did just take a fae to the chest for me." He said smiling down at his servant.  
"I just, I need some time to think." Arthur nodded at Gaius and left the physician's workshop. Could he really be this blind? COuld he really be this... prejudiced? He thought to himself as with each memory he re-examined it became overwhelmingly obvious that Merlin did nothing but help and irritate him. All the while Arthur and his father hunted sorcerers, attacked them, burned them. Still Merlin only helped, why? He defended Arthur against his own kind... why? What had Arthur done to earn such a kind and loyal servant? This train of thought lead him to every memory he had of tormenting the poor young man. His jabs, and jests, and chores. Arthur stopped walking down the hallway of the castle to lean against the wall. Too much, it was too much. Memories swam before his eyes, taunts echoed in his ears. He needed to hit something.

Arthur made his way down to the barracks, he grabbed a sword and began practicing his swings, his thrusts, his footwork. With each flash of the blade he saw Merlin, Merlin's eyes as they closed, his mouth turned up in a smile, his gangly form. Everytime he his blade hissed through the air the he heard Merlin's last words whispered to him. One of the new knights in training approached asking if Arthur wanted to spar. He paused, his heart thudding in his ear, breathing hard. He nodded slightly.  
They bowed and began sparring, Arthur had hoped an opponent went empty his mind. Now as the blades clanged he heard his father's voice, yelling, angry, rough. Arthur tried to drown it out by focusing on the fight. It wasn't working, Merlin and Uther clashed in his head like the swords. Merlin so happy and kind and soft and his father so full of wrath. With a final swing Arthur disarmed the knight, the sword spun as it flew out of the inexperienced hand and finally Arthur saw two paths before him. The path with Merlin full of smiles, whispered jabs, and bright eyes... and the path of Uther full of hatred and violence.  
Arthur fell to the ground gripping the grass tightly. Tears stung his eyes, he could only hope his father would be reasonable.

At dinner Arthur was focused intently on his father, not joking or idly enjoying his meal, his eyes hardly left his father. Uther didn't notice, he just sipped his mead and chewed away at the spread laid out before them. Arthur had picked here and there but his stomach rolled too much. He figured it would be best to wait for Uther to finish his meal. Each mouthful Arthur waited, wishing he were a sorcerer to speed up the time and marveling at such a wish when days before he'd believed sorcery to be evil. Torches flickered, and servants quietly rustled as they stood or moved to quickly refill the king's goblet. Arthur didn't dare fidget lest he break the silence and draw his father's gaze. Then the words would come quicker and even though he knew they needed to come he wished that his father would just understand. Have a change of heart unprompted, suddenly look up and say  
"You know something son? I have been ever so foolish, magic isn't a crime after all! Ha silly me." Then everything would still be okay. That was when the king actually did look up.  
"What's the matter boy? You've hardly eaten, is it unsavory because I'm sure we can get one of the servants to bring you a new dish." He suggested looking at the servants waiting on the sidelines. Arthur shook his head when one moved forward.  
"No, father. I have something on my mind that I need to tell you. I know you won't like it... but it has to be said." Uther placed his silverware down and clasped his hands.  
"Out with it." He said expectantly, his face already settling into a slight frown, the lines in his face pulling down. Arthur took a deep breath before launching into the coming argument.  
"Father, I think we have made a mistake in outlawing magic." He said slowly wincing as the words fell from his mouth and creating a silence more heavy than before. A servant almost dropped a pitcher full of mead. Uther stared at him long and hard.  
"Who has bewitched you my boy? I'm sure we can get to the bottom of this." He said making to get up.  
"Father I'm not bewitched. I speak of my own volition, I sincerely believe it's a mistake." Uther huffed.  
"And what other than magic could lead you to this ridiculous conclusion? Against the mountain of evidence we've both witnessed over the years? All my teachings? Because I can only imagine magic to drive that all from you mind unless you've become simple." Uther said his voice growing more malicious with every word. Arthur closed his eyes and remembered Merlin's face. He was doing this for him.  
"Father I recently realized a close friend has been a sorcerer their whole life. They risked their life to save me, and have done nothing but protect me since I've known them. Fighting other sorcerers, taking risks and being every opposite of evil I can think of."  
"One snake that doesn't bite you does not take the fangs away or remove the poison from the species." Uther thundered across the table.  
"Please, listen, don't people deserve the chance to prove they are good? Can't magic be a tool for good? Must we assume magic is the poison?" Arthur pleaded. Uther stood suddenly sending his chair crashing to the floor.  
"Who is this alleged saviour, I would stake my crown that they have enchanted you to turn against me!" He demanded.  
"I am not against you, I just think we need to revise the law, and change how we view sorcerers."  
"I can't believe this! My own flesh and blood! Is this to be my legacy!? A weak magic sympathizing fool!?" He shouted. Arthur fought to not flinch at his father's tone.  
"Can't we at least discuss this without accusations? Don't you trust me father? Can magic really be so evil?"  
"Of course I trust you my son, it's the magic impairing your judgement I don't trust."  
"father-"  
"Give me the sorcerer's name!" He shouted striding forward, his red cloak billowing behind him. All Arthur could see in it was Merlin's blood if his father found out. Especially since he was recovering and couldn't defend himself.  
"I won't they're my friend."Arthur said standing slowly to meet his father's stern face. Uther looked into his son's eyes and then smirked.  
"Thank you son for your compliance. Guards!" Arthur braced himself to be dragged away, he'd spent nights in the dungeon and he could do it again. He could work away at his father slowly, over time. Try to get him to see reason no matter the cost so that Merlin had a safer world to wake up to.  
"Guards go to Gaius' workshop and place Merlin in a cell."  
"What!? No you can't!?" Arthur shouted. Uther smilied.  
"I'm the king remember? And you only have one friend despite my protests to acquaint yourself with young men of noble blood. Merlin is your only friend who is also recovering from an attempt on your life." Arthur watched as the guards marched off to grab Merlin.  
"Father have you lost your mind!" He shouted, rage threatening to over take him.  
"He's unconscious! We don't know if he'll even wake up!" Arthur shouted.  
"So we give him three days to stand trial, if he doesn't awaken then he's as good as dead." Uther said with a nonchalant shrug. Arthur wanted to lunge at him, smash some sense into his father's tiny mind. It took colossal will not to, he'd be a fool to play into his father's trap. His father wanted a reason to believe Arthur was bewitched. SO Arthur swallowed his anger.  
"I wish you would reconsider, but you are the king." HE said with a stiff bow, when he looked up his father was watching him with narrowed eyes.  
"Yes, I am. Was there anything else you needed to say?" Uther prompted, Arthur bit his tongue.  
"No that is all."  
"Very well you are dismissed." Arthur turned on his heel sharply and strode out of the room. He knew now for certain that his father was unyielding and almost insane. To make a bedridden servant after saving the prince's life stand trial was the last piece of evidence Arthur needed. This time he couldn't stop the tears from coming, his father would kill Merlin, his father was wrong. The man he had looked up to his whole life, taught him the merits of honor and chivalry was wrong about so much. Arthur swiped at the tears as he hurried to his room.Closing the door he opened his mouth to call for Merlin and froze. He'd almost forgotten, it was habit. His father was right about one thing, Merlin was his only true friend, and without him there was no one to hear or comfort him as he cried silently.

It was the night before Merlin's deadline. He was still unconscious, Gaius had tried all he could even magic to awaken his young apprentice. Arthur had tried to bring up the topic or approach the subject different ways but his father would not be swayed. With each denial Arthur grew sadder at the thought of coming into conflict with his king. So he played his part, tried to have good moments before his plan went through.  
As Arthur walked down to the dungeon, he pushed his turmoil to the side. He had a job to do, a duty to his people and the people his family had wronged. Although the guards put up a better fight than Arthur had expected, they ended up unconscious on the floor. Standing by the cell doors he pulled out the ring of keys and began unlocking all the doors for people accused of magic.  
"Citizens of Camelot, you have been wronged by my father and myself. I humbly ask your forgiveness and offer you an escape to freedom. I cannot promise you the protection and safety that a prince should but I will lay down my life and fight for the people of magic to be free once more." After some rumbling amongst themselves many agreed to go with him. He thanked them and turned to the last cell where Merlin lay in his cell, shackled for no reason and the moon streaming through the window across his still face. He looked so peaceful, so unaware of the changes around him, the changes he'd caused in Arthur. Arthur swung open the door and after unlocking the shackles and scooped Merlin into his arms. He was a little cold and Arthur could only pray that he wouldn't lose Merlin too.  
Together while cradling Merlin, he and the sorcerers, druids, and wrongfully accused left the dungeon. Some used magic against the guards to put them to sleep or throw them against walls or even turn them into animals like newts and toads. So far no alarms were raised and as they entered the courtyard to meet up with Gaius and Gwen Arthur dared hope they would slip into the night unnoticed. Of course the second it entered his head those hopes were dashed against the rocks. Gaius and Gwen had spoken with some of the servants and guards and persuaded some to come with Arthur, it was only natural that word would leak of the prison break.  
"Halt!" Uther's voice although not magic commanded the obedience of those in earshot. Some froze in terror, some poised to fight, some paused in uncertainty but Arthur stopped only to say goodbye. Although doubts had swarmed his head, he stood straight and sure to face the king as he seethed from the balcony above.  
"Arthur what sort of treason is this!"  
"No treason my lord, just an issue I can not ignore or abandon. I know in my heart that magic is not evil, and I cannot in good conscience allow the innocent to be persecuted and murdered for it. I hope one day you can see that father, and know that it breaks my heart to be at odds with you." He said earnestly, hoping for that change of heart. Uther only scowled.  
"Guards!" He shouted, Arthur exchanged a look with Gaius. Gaius nodded and the old man's eyes glowed the bright yellow just as Merlin's had. Uther seemed shocked to see Gaius and then horrified when there was an explosion of fire originating from Gaius' workshop. He'd gathered his most important books and ingredients allowing the rest to fuel the magical flame. Uther shouted after them as they left, people rushing to put out the flames, too distracted to see through the glamours or care about the escaping magic users and those loyal to Arthur.  
Gaius guided them deep into the forest, sorcerers did their best to conceal tracks or create new ones leading nowhere. As they got deeper and deeper into the forest people relaxed and smiles returned and freedom felt real. Arthur felt a swelling in his heart that he had saved their lives and that they had a weight lifted from their shoulders even for a little while.  
After several days of travel and laying low and doing their best to lead off search parties a clearing appeared in the forest. Many tents and colorful cloth billowing in the wind made Arthur feel somehow at peace. There they were greeted by the elusive druids, or at least some of them. A couple former prisoners shouted in joy and rushed forward to the camp. Whoops of joy followed suit as they were reunited with family and loved ones.  
"Are you sure they won't try to kill me?" Arthur asked Gaius.  
"Don't worry, if they do I'll protect you." Gwen said with a chuckle. Gaius smirked.  
"I'm pretty sure, they definitely won't hurt Merlin so if it gets complicated just stay close to his body." Arthur had done nothing but Carry him through the forest. They had no horses or carts, Arthur was almost certain he had gained muscle but couldn't be sure because Merlin was so light.  
"Thanks Gaius." Arthur said sarcastically.  
"Anytime your majesty." As they approached they were indeed stopped by what Arthur thought was the leader. He wore a long green cloak and carried a wicked looking staff that glowed at the tip. Beside him stood a small boy with wide eyes and curly dark hair.  
"Welcome Pendragon, to our humble kingdom. Sorry if it isn't up to your standards your grace." He said with a smirk. Arthur gulped and opened his mouth to speak, at least ask that they care for Merlin. He didn't get the chance because the small boy tugged on the druids cloak. He bent down as the small child whispered in the older man's ear. He nodded and stood back up.  
"Mordred tells me you have a friend who needs care."  
"Please, he's my only friend. You don't have to house me or anything. But I beg you help heal him." Arthur looked down at Merlin's face.  
"Right this way young prince." Arthur looked up as the old druid lead him to a large tent, inside was a cot set up with several crystals piled on tables and the ground around the cot.  
"Oh it's lovely!"Gwen said taking in the sight.  
"These crystals have healing and purifying properties." Gaius said.  
"Perfect that's just what he needs! Oh thank you for taking in our friend." She said beaming at the druid elder. Arthur set Merlin down and stroked his head gently.  
"Will it heal him?" Arthur asked quietly.  
"I can tell you young prince that he will heal but never fully recover."  
"What exactly does that mean?" Gaius asked.  
"I couldn't say, it's just what we have seen. I'll leave you alone for now. And young prince?" Arthur looked up.  
"You are welcome to stay." Arthur nodded.  
It would be almost two weeks before Merlin would awaken. Several citizen's of Camelot had heard of Arthur's treachery and found their way to the druid camp. Arthur pitched in to help hunt and set up more tents. Gaius added his healing talents and magical knowledge to teach young kids. Gwen was a natural leader, people came to her for advice and she was often sought out in councils and to help settle disputes. The best part was that no one was put to death or on trial for the wonders they did. Children ran around making toys fly, flowers grow, little rain clouds make shapes.  
One day while out hunting and gathering food, Arthur found more than he bargained for. He had his arrow notched and ready to fly, a beautiful elk to be the receiver.  
"Seems a bit small don't you think?" Arthur gasped and fell as the arrow whizzed through the air. Startled the elk took off into the forest. Whirling to face the stranger Arthur felt his jaw fall open.  
"Morgana?"  
"In the flesh dear brother." She said with a wicked smile. Arthur hopped up and hugged her,  
"I thought you were missing! What's happened? Where have you been?" Morgana smiled as they pulled apart.  
"Well it's a funny story. I think I better show you." Morgana closed her eyes and when they opened they were brilliant gold. She opened her palm and fire bloomed in her palm. Despite seeing all kinds of magic these past weeks he was still blown away.  
"You're a witch."  
"I didn't really feel safe at Uther's castle." Morgana said looking away.  
"You thought you were all alone and that Uther might harm you." She nodded.  
"Oh Morgana I'm so sorry." He pulled her into a hug again.  
"I know I didn't give you much reason to trust me, I was so stupid."  
"It's okay, I always knew you were a fool." Arthur laughed, her wit reminded him of Merlin.  
"It was actually this very camp that took me in, the little boy Mordred and I grew quite close."  
"That makes sense, he's a creepy kid." Morgana smacked his arm playfully.  
"How's Merlin?" She asked true concern showing through.  
"Still no change." Arthur said with a sad smile.  
"We remain hopeful though."  
"You're a good friend Arthur, I can't tell you what it means to me that you have defied Uther. That you protect people like me and sweet Merlin. I..." she stopped as tears formed in her eyes.  
"It's easier than I thought, apparently almost everyone I care about is a magician." She laughed at that.  
"I wish our father were more understanding." She said. They clasped hands and the two felt closer than they ever had before. Wronged by their father  
"Do you want to come see Merlin?" She shook her head "I have a fire in me Arthur, I have purpose and now that I know you are joined with me in this cause I feel invigorated." She said with a grin. "All I can think about are all the children afraid to grow up like dear Mordred. All the Servants like Merlin who are so loyal even at the risk of their own life. All the girls like me afraid of their father. I have to help them, I want to keep finding them. I want to send them here where they'll be safe with you and the druids." Arthur smiled. "You're so passionate, I think that's an excellent idea. I'll talk with the druids so that they know to expect more." Morgana sighed in relief. "You can't know how happy I am to hear that." Morgana stepped back. "Wait aren't you even going to say hi to Mordred?" She gave him a mysterious smile. "I already have, he's excited at the thought of more playmates." Arthur frowned but let it go. "I'll see you soon Arthur, for once I am proud to be a Pendragon." She waved her hands in a flurry of wind she was gone. Off to save sorcerers across the land. Despite all the wonder and work to keep him busy Arthur spent all the time he could by Arthur's side. Telling him about the day or whatever had happened. Sometimes he didn't speak at all and just thought in the silence. Often he nodded off and would nap by Merlin's bedside.

It didn't take long for him to start spending his nights there, he'd roll out a blanket and just sleep beside Merlin, every morning hopeful for change and every morning disappointed.  
One day in particular he was bone tired, it had been most stressful. More refugees arrived by the day, not that it wasn't great but it was a small clearing and there was even less food to spare. Arthur wondered how long their camp could last without proper resources and protection. Guards till roamed the woods, getting too close for Arthur's comfort. They only thing keeping them hidden was the combined magics of all those in the camp.

Arthur sat in his chair with a heavy sigh and rubbed his face. Glancing at Merlin he felt hopelessness rise in his chest.  
"I wish you were here you big fool. You always knew how to cheer me up and help in your own way. You'd come up with a crazy idea to save the day." He paused to take a shuddering breath as his eyes grew heavier.  
"I need you Merlin..." He said as he drifted off in his chair. Far too tired to lie down.  
"Arthur..." Arthur jolted awake, not entirely sure if he'd fallen asleep at all and glanced around looking for the source of the voice, frowning when he found none. He was sure someone had called his name. He yawned and stretched. He glanced at Merlin as he always did when he awoke. Merlin was moving, he was also stretching out and turning over. Arthur's heart fell through his boots and then shot up to his throat. For a second it was impossible to make any sound.  
"Merlin!" He finally choked out.  
"Ugh five more minutes." He grumbled softly. Joy flooded Arthur's system, Merlin was awake.


	3. The Orders of Emrys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin has awoken! Finally things are looking up for Arthur! Or... are they? Something has happened to Merlin, Arthur has no idea what to do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains the first depictions of graphic violence, if you are triggered by violence against humans and animals in general then I suggest proceeding with caution.

It had been three days since Merlin had awoken, he was shocked and awed by all that had transpired. Constantly marveling at all Arthur had accomplished and delighted in the changes and lives saved in the druid camps. He had thanked Arthur profusely and Arthur could only smile at the praise and think that the best part of everything that happened was how at ease Merlin became. He even did chores around the camp with a smile and god how Arthur had missed that smile as it filled Merlin’s whole face. With his friend back, he could finally talk to him about how distraught he was about severing ties with his father. Feeling like a disappointment, a failure, and hating being labeled a traitor and enemy of Camelot. Merlin could tell Arthur was even more broken up about it than he let on. Merlin would sometimes see Arthur staring through the woods in the direction of Camelot. Just standing arms crossed, face unreadable to anyone except Merlin, Gwen and Gaius who knew what was going through his mind.

“I’m worried about him. He might try to do something stupid like surrender to Uther to save all of us or some other heroic nonsense.” Gwen said as she and Merlin worked on mending clothes.

“Well it is Arthur.” She sighed at Merlin’s comment.

“We just have to keep an eye on him, help where we can, and do our best here. Solve small problems one at a time.”

“There has to be more to do, I know that if I’m wondering about that then Arthur surely is just as much if not more.”

“Gwen come on, you can’t discredit yourself. You have become quite the leader here. People listen to you, you solve more and more problems everyday. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were elected a leader along with the elder druids.” Gwen laughed at that.

“I don’t think I’m old enough to join them.” Merlin chuckled. “I am serious though, you act like such a queen, it amazes me. Perhaps you should marry Arthur and make it official.” Gwen rolled her eyes.

“You know very well that if I were to marry a Pendragon it wouldn’t be Arthur.” She said getting a longing look in her eyes.

“Wow, never took you for a girl into older men like Uther, but whatever I don’t judge.”

“You are unbelievable!” She cried at the jest trying to smack him. After their laughter died down Merlin prodded.

“Have you seen Morgana at all recently? She’s been gone an awfully long time.” Gwen sighed and looked at her lap.

“No, but when new refugees come to the camp it eases my mind. It means she hasn’t been discovered and that she’s alright.” She said with a faint smile. Merlin felt her pain as he glanced at Arthur.

“Speaking of marrying Arthur.” Gwen said catching his look.

“Don’t even start Gwen, you know as well as I do that Arthur has never had an inkling of desire for another man.” Merlin said as he now focused on the sewing in his lap. Gwen snorted.

“How you manage to be such a wise sorcerer and a thick serving boy all at once is beyond me.” Merlin shook his head.

“We both know the Pendragons are the thickest.” They chuckled over that and quietly went back to their work. Merlin finished mending his clothes first and said goodbye to Gwen as he walked past the clearing and towards the river to start on the task of washing clothes. Lost in thought the poor boy wasn’t paying attention to his footing and slid down the hill to the riverbank. Completely unnoticed by anyone as the basket and Merlin tumbled towards the rocks below.

“Merlin? Where are you? My armour needs polishing!” Arthur called teasing as he strolled through the camp, he had actually been hoping Merlin would help him with a hunting trip to gather food for the ever growing camp. He supposed that maybe saying his armour needed polishing would probably only make Merlin hide. Then again he couldn’t recall the last time Merlin had enjoyed a hunting trip either but damnit he missed Merlin and wanted to spend time quality time with his servant. Of course he’d sooner die than admit that.  


“Merlin!” He called when he finally spotted him by the riverbed at the bottom of the hills.

“Merlin!” he shouted but he was too busy with what he was doing to hear. Looked like he washing clothes but he was doing a very poor job. Clothes were scattered everywhere and the basket was turned on its side. So Arthur walked down the hill to see if Merlin needed help. Moving in between trees quietly he hoped he could scare Merlin and make him fall in the river, the thought made him snicker quietly. That’d teach him to ignore Arthur’s orders.

He finally got close enough and crouched down slowly creeping forward, he was trying to get up right behind Merlin to shout in his ear. He paused when Merlin reached for the hem of his own shirt and slowly pulled it up and over his head. Frozen Arthur grinned unconsciously seeing Merlin’s back stretch and twist to get the blue fabric off. Arthur’s grin fell however when translucent wings unfurled from Merlin’s back and fluttered softly.

Odd, Merlin definitely didn’t have wings… or did he? All he’d really learned was Merlin was a powerful magic user, he’d never considered it might be because he was part fairy. Arthur also noticed that the wings were in fact not physically attached to his back. They hovered slightly above his skin and fluttered ever so gently in the sunlight. Despite the oddity Arthur couldn’t help but think They were beautiful.

“Seen enough my prince?” Merlin said whimsically. Arthur started.

“I was just-”

“Or have you not seen nearly enough?” Merlin said throwing a suggestive smirk over his shoulder and raking his eyes up and down Arthur’s crouched body. Arthur gasped slightly, Merlin’s face was different.

“Merlin, your eyes… and ears, what’s happened?” He asked as he took in the glowing green of his irises and the long pointed tips to his ears.

“An improvement I’d say, wouldn’t you agree? Besides you know my name isn’t Merlin, I’m called Emrys.” He said returning his attention to the water. Emrys? What was he going on about?

“Merlin what game are you playing?” He asked, getting up and walking to the riverbed, he stumbled and almost fell when he saw what Merlin was doing. Scattered in magical patterns and symbols around merlin were the bones of animals that it looked like he’d plucked from still living creatures. There was a rabbit missing a leg and twitching right by his thigh, it’s blood spreading into the earth. Several birds lay dead or dying with severed wings and chest ripped open to get ribs. Arthur covered his mouth, this was wrong, something was terribly wrong. Merlin’s hands were covered with blood and his chest was painted with other symbols.

“You know it’s funny you should ask what game I’m playing. I call it hunting.” He said turning and standing to face Arthur. Arthur stared in shock as he saw the other side of Merlin’s head. There was a slight gash in it that was dripping blood down his face and onto his shoulder

“Merlin I-”

“Come on Arthur, I thought you’d like this game. You love chasing animals and shooting them for sport, gutting them and cooking them. How you love collecting trophies like belts and horns and fangs, skinning the beasts claiming dominion over them as if people weren’t enough.” He said advancing on Arthur slowly. His movement was almost awkward, not fluid but jerky and stopping, it reminded Arthur of someone who was drunk.

“Hang on what is that supposed to mean?” Merlin smirked and stumbled over a log, Arthur rolled his eyes. Merlin laughed but it wasn’t his normal cheerful laugh, it was menacing.

“Come on Arthur, prince of hypocrisy, trying so hard to cleanse the sins of the past with meaningless gestures and camping with the savage folk of the kingdom. What a joke.” He said laughing some more as he turned back to the bones.

“Merlin what happened to your head, why are you acting like this?saying such horrible things?” He didn’t want to sound so hurt but the words had stung.

“Down, down, down to the river I go, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.” He said smiling and stretching his arms upward. What did that even mean?

“Don’t be so daft Arthur. I just took a little tumble into the river and now I feel so much better. Doesn’t my wet skin look great in the sun?” He asked smirking again. Arthur could swear Merlin had never smirked so much in his life. Arthur had no idea what that had to do with anything but he suspected Gaius could help.

“Merlin come on let’s go see Gaius. He’ll fix that wound right up.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Come on Merlin, prince’s orders.”

“No.” Arthur looked at him confused.

“Merlin, Now. I won’t ask again.”

“Good, because I’m tired of refusing you.” He said as he laid down on the ground and fanning his arms, moving the animals and bones and loose leaves. It was like he was making a snow angel in the carnage.

“Merlin. That was an order.” Arthur said getting more frustrated by the second, how was he supposed to figure out what was wrong if Merlin was being so difficult?

“Shove your orders up your ass little prince, or up mine if you prefer.” Merlin said turning his head and moving his hands to his chest and stomach and over his hips arching his back as he did so. Arthur couldn’t peel his eyes away and felt his mouth run dry. He’d never seen Merlin move in such a manner, if it weren’t for the creepy atmosphere it would be almost… enticing. Arthur shook his head of the thoughts and looked back to Merlin’s face which had a devious grin plastered on.

“Get up before I force you.” Merlin cackled so loud and held his stomach. He rolled around and wiped tears from his eyes.

“That’s so cute, I’m tempted to see you try. I wager you’ll try five times before failing, or hurting yourself.” He giggled with glee. Arthur had had enough. He stalked forward and reached for Merlin’s arm. The next thing he knew he was underwater and gulping down the river. He lunged upward sputtering and coughing. He wiped water from his eyes and saw Merlin laughing from the river bank. He growled and surged forward through the water. He thanked any gods that he wasn’t actually wearing his armour.

“Merlin what the HELL!” He shouted scrambling up the bank.

“Try again you royal dollop head.” He said grinning.

“That or give me a kiss, then maybe I’ll go with you.” Arthur grabbed for Merlin again but was thrown into a nearby tree. He gasped, groaning as he rubbed his undoubtably bruising back, the breath torn from his lungs. Not even his best knights could take his breath away like that.

“Merlin you have got to snap out of it!” He grunted as he tried to sit up and almost fell back when Merlin suddenly sat in Arthur’s lap.

“What are y-” Merlin closed his hand around Arthur’s throat to silence him. It was already difficult to breathe.

“It’s Emrys, and I give the orders now. Gods I hate when you give me orders. So patronizing and ungrateful.” Merlin spat out, his grip tightening.

“I have done everything you ever asked and more for little to no thanks. You don’t even care about me and I would die for you, you selfish prat!” Merlin released his neck, reared back and slapped Arthur’s face. Arthur gasped out and coughed some more. He was starting to shiver from the cold of the river that remained on his skin.

“Not so fun being the powerless one is it? Who’s the butt of the joke now!” He shouted and Arthur flipped him and pinned Merlin to the floor. Merlin only laughed.

“Now we’re getting somewhere. Have you often thought of pinning me beneath you?” He teased and Arthur just jumped up hauling Merlin to his feet. Merlin however pushed against Arthur and pinning him to the tree captured Arthur’s mouth in a kiss. Arthur was stunned. He didn’t move until Merlin pulled back with a wistful sigh.

“Finally” was all he said before his eyes rolled back in his head and collapsed against Arthur. Arthur lurched forward to catch him and held him tightly before he could hit the ground. As he kneeled down cradling Merlin gently he watched as the wings evaporated into the air, rolling off Merlin’s form like fine morning mist, his ears shrunk back down to their normal size and the gash in his head stopped bleeding.

“Merlin?” He asked tentatively, Merlin stirred and blinked up at Arthur who let out a breath of relief. His eyes were back to normal blue.

“Arthur? What happened? Where am I?” He asked holding his head.

“What’s the last thing you remember Merlin?” He asked, Merlin scrunched up his face.

“We have to stop meeting like this.” Arthur laughed tensely and waited to see what Merlin said.

“I was walking by the river when I stumbled, I think… I think I fell in the river. But I don’t remember anything after that.” His eyes widened.

“I didn’t die did I?” Merlin asked and Arthur shook his head.

“No you idio-” Arthur stopped. Merlin or Emrys’ words drifted through his head. Patronizing, ungrateful.

“No Merlin, but I was very worried about you, I think you hurt your head pretty bad. Come on let’s get you to Gaius.” He said standing with Merlin slowly who wobbled on his feet. And clutched his head, He frowned at Arthur.

“Are you okay?” Gesturing to Arthur’s wet clothes.

“Did you jump in to save me?” Arthur’s immediate response was to say shut up Merlin but again he paused.

“Yes.” Merlin frowned again and Arthur had to admit the frown troubled him. He wasn’t that unsympathetic to Merlin. Was he?

“Oh, I get it. You needed help with some chores or something didn’t you.” Merlin said with a grin and Arthur laughed lightly.

“Don’t worry about it, let’s just get you to Gaius.” He said and they hobbled up the hill together.


	4. Sticks and Stones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaius only leaves Arthur with more questions than answers. Emrys leaves Arthur with more scars than kisses and Merlin... leaves Arthur wanting more.

"I don't understand Gaius, he was a completely different person. He was cruel and... aggressive." Arthur was pacing back and forth in front of the physician, Merlin had gotten bandaged up and was on his way with a smile. 

"Your majesty this won't be easy for you to hear, but I fear Merlin has been possessed." Arthur stopped.

"What do you mean possessed? Possessed by what?" Gaius took a deep breath and looked Arthur in the eye.

"Arthur, when a Changeling is sent to replace the host it must first bond with the person. This process kills the host and leaves only the changeling inside the body. However, I have read that on occasion, both survive the bonding. Leaving both of them to share the body." Arthur sat down hard.

"So the night that Merlin saved your life, he cast a binding spell. It would seem that the spell saved both your life and his... but left the faerie trapped inside Merlin." Arthur put his head in his hands.

"What can we do to save him?" Gaius looked at the ground.

"I don't know, fae magic is as I've said wild at the best of times. And Merlin? His magic is perhaps the most powerful I've ever witnessed. Breaking any enchantment by him let alone combined with the power of a fae would take astronomical effort."

"I don't understand why the Changeling would make him so... different." Arthur said still reeling.

"That's the twisted irony of it all your highness. A changeling takes all the negative qualities a person has and amplifies them ten fold. Anything this Emrys did is likely stemming from a deep dark part of Merlin. His rage, selfishness, greed. Anything that Merlin would normally keep in check or not allow to control him. Emrys is to some extend a reflection of Merlin while being his own person." Arthur couldn't stand it anymore.

"It's all my fault..." He said his voice cracking.

"No your majesty, yo-"

"Yes Gaius it is, I'm no better than my father." He said tears welling up in his eyes.

"No hang on a minute, that is absolutely not true!" Arthur only shook his head.

"I'm ruining the very lives I've sword to protect, the ones I care about most." Gaius sighed deeply.

"Honestly your just like Merlin running around with the weight of the world on your shoulders. Not every incident is directly correlated to you actions sire." Arthur just shrugged.

"Very well, if that's how you want to play it. What are you going to do to fix it." Arthur frowned looking up at Gaius.

"What?"

"I asked what you intend to do about this mess you've supposedly caused hm?" 

"I don't kno-"

"Well start thinking boy, If you're so desperate to take the blame then you better be willing to take the responsibility of fixing your 'mistake'" he said before exiting the tent. Arthur sat in stunned silence, then he grinned to himself. Gaius was right. He was the prince of Camelot, and he could make this right. Over the next few days Arthur did the best he could to keep an eye on Merlin and discover what exactly made Emrys take control. and for a few days nothing happened. Merlin was normal, cheery even. They even managed to go on that hunting trip Arthur had wanted. Arthur began to relax, maybe nothing cause Emrys to come out. Maybe they'd never have to worry about Merlin's safety again. Of course being Arthur meant he was pretty much dead wrong about that.

It happened suddenly, Arthur and Merlin were rough housing, now that Merlin didn't have to hide his magic he had no problem using it to win a fight. 

"That's cheating." Arthur complained as he hung upside down in the air.

"You started it you prat!"Merlin called up giggling. He was focusing on gathering berries and growing berry plants to make more food for the refugees in the druid camp. Arthur had maybe purposefully kicked the basket over causing the scuffle.

"I did not, I'm a prince I don't start problems." He said tilting his head defiantly.

"Ha! Except for possibly every problem I've ever had."

"Is that anyway to speak to your king Merlin?"

"Future king, if you manage to stop being a dollop head."

"I think my first official decree will be to put you in the stocks everyday."

"Like you always do?" Merlin said chuckling. 

"I have no idea what you mean. Are you going to let me down? Or am I to stay suspended up here all day?" 

"I'm still deciding that part your royal highness." MErlin said with a wiggle of his eyebrows. He thought he was so clever making a pun out of Arthur being high up in the air.

"I think I liked you better without magic."

"Ouch, you didn't even like me a little bit." Arthur rolled his eyes.

"You know that isn't true Merlin. I liked you plenty." Merlin looked up with a quirked eyebrow. If he wasn't already red in the face Merlin would've seen him blush.

"No one could clean a stable quite like you." Merlin smirked and with a flash of his eyes Arthur fell to the ground unceremoniously. Shaking himself off and picking up a small stone he lobbed it at Merlin.

"No need to be rude." He said smiling. Merlin gasped as the rock struck him in the back of the head. It may have been tiny but Arthur had a good arm and wicked aim. Merlin shuddered and Arthur wondered if he'd thrown the stone to hard.

"Merlin? I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you." Merlin laughed with a low rumble.

"How many times must I tell you it's Emrys." Emrys turned and those glowing green eyes met Arthur's. Dread unfurled deep in Arthur's gut. He'd been careless, arrogant, stupid to think the fae could be ignored until it went away. 

"Emrys, stop. Release Merlin now." Arthur said firmly. Emys tilted his head to the side as the translucent wings unfurled from his back.

"You know I don't think I will." Emrys stood and then began hovering in the air as his wings fluttered.

"Emrys please, you have to go." A deep scowl formed on Emrys face.

"I don't have to do anything." A rock lifted off the ground as the whites in Emrys' eyes went black. He grinned broadly as the rock sailed right for Arthur's head. Arthur Narrowly rolle out of the way in time. A branch snapped off a tree and fell against Arthur's back. Grunting as he hit the ground he was unable to stop any of the small pebbles and twigs that Emrys hurled at him with ease. 

"Merlin! I know you're in there! FIght him!" Arthur suddenly found Emrys' hand closed around his throat. 

"Why do you call out to that sniveling worm!" Emrys growled.

"Am I not all you could ever desire!? Do you not love my power? I am beyond insecurity! ANd I promise I am a far better bedfellow than some servant!" Emrys screeched.

"Merlin please, you can break free! Merlin I need you!" Arthur choked out as Emrys squeezed. With a thud he dropped Arthur's head.

"Unbelievable, a prince as stupid as he is blind! If you shall not have me as a lover then you serve no use for me." Emrys stretched out an arm and dark magic swirled around his palm. Arthur struggled to get up, he couldn't let Merlin kill him. He'd be devastated if he found out. 

"Goodbye Arthur." His spell crackled but just before the magic could strike Emrys' hand shot up and the attack shot harmlessly into the trees. Emrys stared at his own hand in shock.

"No, no, no no no!" He said over and over again. Arthur glanced up as he slowly lowered to the ground, the wings evaporating into the air.

"NO!" He screamed before falling face down on the ground. Arthur also felt dizzy, he thought the branch might be cutting off blood flow. What a pathetic way to go, crushed by a goddamn tree. Merlin woke up in a couple seconds.

"What happened?"He asked confused looking around and spotting Arthur.

"Good lord!" He shouted and with an uttered word and golden flash the tree branch was flung off of Arthur. Arthur took in a grateful breath of air, relieved to not be killed by a log after all. 

"Thanks Merlin." He said through pants.

"Wow, a thanks from you? Did you hit your head?" Merlin asked with a faint smile while his deft hands moved over Arthur's back. Arthur sighed into his touch, it was soft and gentle.

"Maybe? can you check for me?" Arthur asked. Merlin gently pulled Arthur up into a sitting position. He began running his fingers through Arthur's hair. Moving over his scalp checking for gashes or bumps. Arthur closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. How could he have never noticed how nice merlin's hands felt on him? Merlin had helped him dress countless times and he was only now realizing he'd missed it. He'd hardly needed help changing since he was wearing casual wear most days. All too soon Merlin pulled his hands back causing Arthur to look at him. Merlin was very close and there was a strange heat around them.

"Well your head is fine, maybe bigger than normal but that just explains the massive ego you have." Arthur grinned.

"The rest of me?" he asked cautiously touching his back and wincing at the slight pain.

"A few scrapes and bruises but otherwise you're fighting fit." Arthur sighed in relief.

"Thanks again Merlin, I really do appreciate it." Merlin smiled.

"Anytime sire." They just looked at each other for a moment and then Merlin shook himself slightly.

"Well I just don't understand what happened." Merlin stood looking at the branch and scratching his head. Oh shit, Arthur had to come up with something.

"The branch broke above you and I well I jumped and pushed you out of the way." Arthur said hurriedly, standing quickly and wincing as the scratched skin stretched from the movement. He was going to be very sore tomorrow. Merlin turned and looked at him confused.

"You? Pushed me out of the way?"

"Well don't act so surprised!" Merlin chuckled.

"Sorry I guess I'm just more used to saving your life." Arthur narrowed his eyes.

"Well I've saved your life plenty before let's not forget. It's not a competition Merlin" Merlin held up his hands.

"I know I know! But if it was I'd be winning." Arthur just scowled.

"Maybe next time I'll let you be crushed." He said stalking off. 

"Then I won't be around to save you!" Merlin called as he jogged to catch up. He ran in front of Arthur and blocked his path.

"wait, in all seriousness thanks." He said bringing his arms around Arthur in a hug. Arthur felt a blush creep up his cheeks. He slowly brought his arms around Merlin and held him back. He felt so good in Arthur's arms. Merlin pulled back.

"Sorry I know you're not big on hugs but, I really am grateful." Arthur couldn't speak so he simply nodded. Merlin walked back to the berry basket that Arthur had almost forgotten about and began working again. Arthur realized he didn't really want to leave so he walked slowly to Merlin's side sat down and began helping him pick berries. He caught Merlin looking at him with a quirked eyebrow. 

"Shut up Merlin."


	5. Advice and Vices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur has tried to keep Emrys a secret but that becomes difficult once Emrys attacks Gwen.

"Is that supposed to be me?" Arthur asked incredulously.

"shush! I'm telling a story!" Arthur closed his mouth with indignation.

"Right so we're under the castle looking for the source of the poisoned water." Mordred gasped as he focused intently on the little fire images Merlin was toying with. They were walking side by side.

"Arthur was looking in the water when there was a ripple." One of Mordred's friends closed their eyes.

"With a mighty splash! The Monster reared its ugly head! Attacking the crown prince of camelot!" The fire morphed into the monster. One child squeaked and the others cried out to the little Arthur and Merlin.

"Arthur attacked, rushing in with his sword swinging at the monster!" The little figures battled the monster swings making the fire flash, roars making the fire crackle and pop. Arthur smiled at the magic.

"The battle was epic and legendary! Arthur just managed to stay alive until finally!" Merlin clapped his hands together and the fire went out with a rush causing more cries. Merlin paused looking at the little kids. He smiled and opened his palms afire Arthur standing over the still monster brandishing his sword.

"Arthur slew the beast, saving Camelot once more!" A cheer rose up from the kids and they got up running around, swinging imaginary swords, chanting Arthur's name or just dancing in celebration. Mordred lead the group away to play and have their own adventures leaving Merlin and Arthur alone laughing at the children's games. 

"That's not at all how I remember that. Completely inaccurate."

"I would've thought you'd like the praise?"

"Well I do."Arthur said stroking his chin.

"But I'm also an honest man Merlin, and I should like to stop taking credit from my equally brave and loyal manservant." Merlin blushed and looked away.

"Well, those kids are your future subjects. I consider it building faith in their leader." Arthur was touched at Merlin's words. His chest swelling with happiness.

"What, you think I can't do that on my own?" He joked.

"Oh I'm certain you could prince of the prats but I also think you doubt yourself just a little. So to help boost your ego once in a while is one way I can think to help." Merlin said looking back up and meeting Arthur's eyes. That strange heat returned and Arthur was once more at a loss for words.

"Thank you Merlin."

"You know Arthur, you don't have to... you know, treat me nice because you blame yourself for my injury. I'm not made of glass, I'm fine now. You don't have to treat me special." Merlin looked down a little sad. Arthur was stunned, how could he think Arthur was pitying him? Arthur opened his mouth to speak, to tell Merlin he was truly special.

"Merlin!" Arthur swallowed his words as Gwen showed up.

"Merlin you have to come see this!" Gwen linked arms with him and they ran off to look at whatever it was. Merlin threw a backward smile at Arthur as they rounded a tent and faded from view. Arthur sighed to himself. How could he prove that he really cared about Merlin, that maybe he wasn't as big an ass as he was when they first met all that time ago. 

"You look more brooding than usual your majesty." Gaius said startling Arthur so bad he almost tripped and fell. In fact if he had been Merlin he probably would have fallen.

"Gaius! Don't do that to a warrior, I might've hurt you!" Gaius simply stared at him unconcerned.

"Does something trouble you my lord?" Arthur shook his head. Gaius looked at him in almost an exasperated way and let the silence drag out.

"Fine, alright yes. I think Merlin is convinced that I'm only treating him..."

"With respect?" Arthur glared.

"No, well yes, but He seems to think that I'm only being kind to him because I feel guilty or because I pity him for his injuries."

"Well you do blame yourself for that."

"And rightfully so." Arthur pointed out, Gaius rolled his eyes.

"So why don't you tell him that isn't the case?"

"Because! I don't know how! I'm afraid he won't believe me! Because everytime I open my mouth to tell him I don't know if it'll stop. Just imagining telling him how I feel feels like I would break a dam... that I would just keep talking about him and how he makes me feel for all eternity." Arthur said quietly fading off. He scrunched up his face in confusion. 

"Arthur, do you love Merlin?" Gaius asked softly.

"What!? No!?" Arthur said shaking his head vigorously. Gaius closed his eyes.

"What if I told you he'd said he loves you."

"What? When? He did? What exactly did he say? Do you think he meant it?" Arthur said striding forward his heart hammering in his chest. Gaius simply smirked at him. Arthur felt his face fall, he hadn't been aware he was even smiling.

"He didn't say that... did he." Gaius shrugged.

"I can't be certain what he's said sire, bad hearing and all that." Arthur scowled again.

"Look your majesty, I imagine Merlin thinks your feelings are ingenuine because you're treating him like a child, or like wounded animal. Instead treat him how he makes you feel. Then stop dancing around your feelings like a lovestruck courter at beltane and tell him god damn it!" Gaius said sternly. Arthur just stared wide eyed in shock. Gaius looked at the heavens and wandered off.

"Think about it!" he called as he too moved out of sight. Arthur sat down by the fire pit where the show had taken place and just tried to sort through his thoughts. Did he love Merlin? He certainly loved him as a friend and comrade but was there more? Arthur felt heat rise again in his chest and thought of Merlin's smiles and his too big ears, the way his eyes had glimmered in the fire light as he told the story, so happy and full of life. Shit. Arthur tried to dispel the feelings, this was silly, he couldn't love Merlin his father would never...

Arthur stopped that train of thought as realization struck him. His father. He had always drilled into his head that Arthur had to marry a princess or at least a young woman of noble blood to father an heir and continue the Pendragon legacy. Arthur cursed to himself. He'd never even considered another option, someone like kind and gentle Merlin who had the stubbornness of a mule and the loyalty of a true companion. Arthur picked at the ground in frustration. Just another thing his father Uther had ruined and gotten wrong. Why had he ever idolized the man? Why had Uther made everything harder for Arthur? Perhaps Arthur would marry Merlin out of spite, because he knew he liked girls but Merlin proved to Arthur that he also liked men.

Arthur then smiled at the thought of Marrying Merlin. Shit. shit shit SHIT. His heart was racing at the thought of kissing those pink lips. Arthur laid down on his back covered his face. A blush forming when he thought of Merlin in other ways, shirtless, stretched out in bed with him, their arms and legs intertwining. Arthur groaned to himself and cursed Gaius for opening his eyes. He'd been blissfully oblivious until today. Blissfully un-tormented by thoughts of Merlin as a lover.

"_Tell him god damn it!_" Gaius's words echoed in his head. Arthur sat up immediately. Why shouldn't he? Arthur stood up quickly brushing grass off of himself excitedly. NO point in delaying it right? If Merlin told him he didn't love him then he could go about getting over him. But... if he reciprocated? Arthur felt his legs turn to jelly. He placed his hands on his knees and took deep breaths. He could do this. He could do this, he was a prince and a warrior for god's sake. Arthur stood up and started walking to find Merlin, warrior face on. He was brave, a hero, he could face any challenge! Then he saw Merlin and nearly dove behind a tent.

Damn it.

Deep breaths, Arthur took a gulp of air and walked around the tent in one go ready to call out Merlin's name. He froze however when he saw the fool grab a rose from Gwen and wince as a thorn pricked him. Everything happened in slow motion. Merlin dropped the rose to stare at his palm which was welling up with little drops of blood. Gwen was covering her mouth partially laughing and mostly concerned. As she reached for him the change happened and Arthur began running toward them. Wings fluttered, green eyes glowed, Gwen opened her mouth in shock and Arthur still felt trapped in slow motion, his legs were too heavy. He was almost there when Emrys raised his hand and fired dark magic at the fromer serving lady.

"Gwen!" He shouted, she managed to narrowly avoid the blast as Arthur tackled the changeling holding his Merlin prisoner in his own body.

"Hahaha why hello again fair prince."

"Emrys!" Arthur spat.

"That is my name. Though I usually picture you moaning it." Emrys said with a wink. Arthur's ears flamed. 

"Oh ho? Is that a sword or are you just as happy to see me as I am to see you?" Emrys whispered darkly and thrust up into Arthur grinding very firmly with Arthur. Arthur rolled off.

"Emrys you can't attack Gwen, what is wrong with you!?" 

"Emrys?" Gwen asked coming into the tree line and staring at Emrys.

"Gwen you have to go, he's dangerous." Gwen looked Emrys up and down.

"Does the young prince care for you?" Emrys asked, an unreadable look on his face.

"Emrys leave her alone."

"Arthur what's happened, why does Merlin look like that? Why are you calling him Emrys?"

"I think I'll kill her." EMrys said darkly advancing on Gwen.

"Poor simple Merlin won't let me kill the Pendragon!" He spat as he stalked toward Gwen,

"But I doubt you'll conjure the same amount of emotion." Emrys began pulsating with magic until Arthur stepped in front of him. 

"Please don't." He pleaded. Suddenly a branch came swinging down and struck Emrys on the head.

"Ow! No fair!" He cried out as he fell to his feet. Arthur turned and saw Gwen poised to strike again.

"GWEN STOP!" She froze and glanced at him. Arthur looked back at Emrys just as the fae features dissipated into the night air. Merlin slumped forward and Arthur caught him gently. 

"Ugh, Arthur?" Merlin asked confused as he pulled back from Arthur's hold.

"what... where?"

"You must have fainted, you pricked your fingers on a rose Gwen had picked." MErlin frowned at his still bleeding hand. He rolled his eyes.

"I have got to stop doing this, I can't believe I fainted of all things." He said chuckling. Gwen let out a sound of disapproval. Arthur shot her a look.

"Why don't you go to Gaius, Gwen and I have something we need to discuss about the refugees." Merlin shook his head and grinned.

"Alright then, catch you both later then." Merlin hopped up and trotted off to Gaius.

"What the HELL was that!?" Gwen whisper shouted.

"It's a long story." Arthur said tiredly.

"Well then get cozy your majesty because I demand an explanation." Arthur sighed and told Gwen everything, Gwen was quiet as she stood there with her arms folded. Her face slowly changing from outrage to growing concern.

"Oh my word that's awful."

"Tell me about it. This is the third time I've encountered the Faerie bastard." 

"Merlin has no idea?" 

"Not that I know of, I want to keep it that way, He'd be so torn up thinking he'd hurt me and now you. I can stand to see him like that. Not when I Lo-" Arthur stopped before he finished that sentence but it was too late Gwen was gasping at him.

"You love him!?" Arthur tried to shake his head but she had caught him.

"Aha! I knew it!" Arthur frowned.

"This is perfect! Oh goodness, I can't wait for Merlin to find out."

"Wh-why? Has he told you he loves me too?" Arthur asked, his voice trembling. Gwen smirked at him.

"Aww you are so in love with him. When are you going to tell him? How are you going to do it?" Arthur opened and closed his mouth as she stood there waiting for his answer.

"I was just going to tell him when Emrys emerged. I swear Merlin is so accident prone that he might have tripped on his way to see gaius." Gwen laughed.

"Stop, don't be rude. And you were just going to... tell him? No grand gesture or anything?"

"Uhhh, well..."

"Honestly what kind of knight in shining armor are you? Not even flowers?"

"Well, see-"

"Unacceptable. After putting up with your royal assness the least he can get is a decent declaration of love."

"Hey!" Gwen shrugged.

"Tell me I'm wrong." Arthur grumbled because she had a point.

"Do it tomorrow, and it had better be so good that it woes even me." Arthur groaned. Gwen laughed a bit and then grew contemplative.

"Why do you think Emrys attacked me." Arthur shrugged.

"He's a pest, I can never anticipate him." Gwen was grasping her chin in thought.

"Gaius said that Emrys would be a magnified version of Merlin's flaws and vices right?"

"Yeah but what does that have to do with anything? Merlin isn't really one to attack people he cares about."

"No, but say he's also in love with a certain blonde prat. He'd be prone to jealousy, and so anyone he views as a threat to that love would be someone he'd get jealous of and feel angry enough to hurt." Arthur's eyes widened.

"Oh no, Emrys views you and Merlin as competitors for his... feelings for me." Arthur said and grinned despite himself.

"You've got it bad." Arthur blushed and looked at his feet.

"But that also explains why he tried to kill me, he saw me returning Merlin's feelings but not Emrys' feelings."

"Wow, Gaius, Myself and even Emrys all knew you loved Merlin before you did. Maybe you are thick in the head." Arthur smiled.

"You may have a point. Okay let's head back, check on Merlin and head for bed. It would seem I have a lot of Wooing to do." Gwen laughed as they headed back to the tents from the treeline. Arthur grinned to himself when he saw Merlin, he hoped the clumsy git could keep himself unhurt long enough to confess his feelings.


	6. Flowers and rods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long awaited conversation takes place

Gwen and Gaius were right, it was time for action, he might as well get it over with. He pestered Gwen and Gaius about Merlin's favorite colors, flowers, foods, anything he could use to win him over. They were hardly helpful and gave him half answers or would shew him away. He finally settled on flowers and ventured out into the forest to pick some. He had no idea what he was doing and so he picked whatever looked pretty and hurried back to his tent before he was discovered. Now he just needed a plan to give them to Merlin and confess his love.

Arthur fidgeted with the flowers he’d picked and paced around his tent. He'd been in there for four hours thinking about what to say and do and preparing himself for the ordeal. He could do this, it was easy, courting was a thing he was great at. He had wooed many people over the years, this would be easier because well it was Merlin. He just hoped it wasn’t only Emrys that was interested and that Gaius knew what he was talking about. He took a deep steadying breath and thought of Merlin’s smile, his dorky ears, his clumsy nature, his good council, his unwavering loyalty. He was almost calmed completely as he smiled at the thought of Merlin. He really was beautiful in a bumbling way.

“Sire!” Arthur jumped and almost dropped the flowers. What the Hell was Merlin doing outside his tent!?

“Uh, just a minute!” He called looking for somewhere to stash the flowers. He couldn’t be caught yet, he was supposed to surprise Merlin with them. He needed to get a hold of himself he was a prince for god’s sake.

“Just wondering if you wanted to go fishing in the river? Gwen said you might want to do something away from camp." That traitor. Arthur thought darkly to himself about putting her in stocks or a cell for this blatant act of treason.

"We could use the food for the refugees plus I know how much you love fish and I promise not to fall in the river this time.” He said chuckling outside Arthur’s tent. Arthur smiled brightly even though Merlin couldn’t see it.

“Um sure, just go ahead and meet me there, I’ll be right out!” He called.

“Sure thing, I’ll grab your rod.” Arthur almost dropped the flowers again. Emrys may have a dirty mouth but Merlin was completely unaware of the innuendo. Arthur shook himself again, he had to get his head in the game, for Merlin. He waited a few minutes doing more breathing and then walked briskly out of the tent. He found Merlin sitting on a rock with two fishing poles set up, his already baited and cast. He was leaning back on his arms with his eyes closed and face turned up to the sun, he looked so content. Arthur stopped to admire the view for a moment before making himself known.

“You’re looking well.” Arthur said. Merlin smirked.

“Was that a compliment your highness?” 

“Come on, I’ve complimented you before.” Arthur said defensively. Merlin snorted.

“I can’t recall the last time, but thanks I suppose.” he said turning his face back to the sun. Arthur set the flowers by Merlin’s side. He tilted his head and opened his eyes a bit to squint at the plucked plants. He stilled for a moment before turning away and closing his eyes again.

“Those flowers for someone special?” Arthur smirked to himself as he set up his fishing pole.

“Can’t think of anyone more special.” He said vaguely.

“Are you taken with one of the druid girls?” Merlin teased. Arthur felt his pulse quicken as he sat by Merlin on the rock, so close that their legs almost touched.

“Something like that.” He said. Merlin squinted up at him.

“Will I have to accompany you on a romantic picnic this time?” Arthur snorted this time.

“Well I would like that.” Arthur said.

“No, absolutely not, the last one was so horrible, and I’m sure you can woo her without me. I have better things to do than watch you spout sonnets.”

“Who said you had to be the one watching?” Arthur asked as he brushed his leg against Merlins. Merlin squinted at him again.

“What are you on about? Because I am definitely not serving you both food.”

“What if you were the one on the picnic with me?” Arthur said finally turning to look at Merlin, he looked confused.

“Why would the girl want both of us there.” Arthur rolled his eyes.

“Merlin, what if it was just you and I, what if the flowers are for you?” He could practically hear his own heartbeat. Merlin sat up and looked at him. He reached up his hand and Arthur took in a sharp breath. Merlin placed his hand on Arthur’s forehead. 

“Are you feeling alright? Maybe you’re sick.” Arthur looked away.

“I feel fine, Merlin, more than fine, well a little nervous to be honest. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I care for you… deeply. I want to know if you feel the same.” Arthur said picking handing the flowers to Merlin and looking away, afraid that Merlin might not take them.

“There’s no druid girl, it’s just you that I’m taken with.” He said quietly. Merlin’s eyes widened and he tentatively took the flowers, his hand brushing Arthur’s. Merlin looked into Arthur’s eyes. 

“This isn’t some prank, because if it is I swear I’ll-” Arthur cut him off by standing. 

“No Merlin I promise that I am sincere. Ever since that night…” He took a shuddering breath.

“That night you risked everything for me, using magic in front of me, trying to protect me, not even knowing if I’d have you killed… It change me. Merlin you changed me. While you were unconscious and recovering I was worried sick for you. I blame myself for being so pig headed and foolish for endangering your life and making you even question that I wouldn’t stand by your side… or that you couldn’t trust me with your secrets.” Arthur said staring at the river as it flowed on.

“Arthur-” Merlin said quietly.. Arthur squeezed his eyes shut and continued.

“I can’t stop thinking about you, your eyes, your smile, your loyalty to me. And I want to promise you that I will never be like my father, I could never hurt you or anyone like you even if you don’t return my feelings.” Arthur turned and faced Merlin who was staring at him with his mouth open. Arthur lowered himself onto his knees and held out the flowers once more.

“I come before you not as a prince, or an heir to a throne or even a Pendragon. I come before you as Arthur and I am saying that I love you. I have for a long time, and if you’ll have me I would be ever so humbled. If not, I know it might be awkward but I’d still need you by my side. Your counsel as a friend are invaluable to me…” Arthur took another deep breath and lowered his head. All he could picture was Merlin leaving and the very thought made the breath tear at his throat. He didn’t think he could watch Merlin walk away from him.

Arthur stilled as he felt a hand on his cheek, his eyes fluttered open and Merlin was there kneeling in front of him. There were tears in his eyes. Arthur was searching them on baited breath for signs of acceptance or rejection.

All thoughts left his head when Merlin crashed into him, crushing their lips together with a kiss. Merlin melted against Arthur, his arms slinging around Arthur’s back. Merlin even moaned a little bit when Arthur pulled him closer. Shocked and overjoyed that this wonderful sorcerer was in his arms willingly.

“I love you too turnip head.” He said breathing hard against Arthur’s lips.

“I think you crushed the flowers” Arthur said against Merlin’s lips Merlin tilted his head back and laughed so loudly that Arthur could feel the shakes in his own chest. 

“Probably for the best, most of them were weeds.” Arthur frowned trying to look at the blooms but Merlin pulled him into a kiss again.

“Besides Gaius needs some crushed Nettle and Dandelion for potions.” Arthur chuckled as they kissed again, he felt triumphant, this was better than any joust he’d ever won, every tournament he’d participated in. This was his greatest victory. 

“Can I court you Merlin?” Arthur asked breaking apart and looking into Merlin’s eyes. Merlin bit his lip and looked away.

“Won’t people talk?” He asked nervously.

“Merlin people would talk no matter who I courted. So I figure it might as well be a courtship I actually want to pursue. What do you say?” Merlin blinked in him then smiled shyly.

“I’d like that very much.” They kissed again, sweet and gentle.

“Will there really be a picnic?” Merlin asked, Arthur chuckled.

“If that’s what you want, then definitely.” He said cupping Merlin’s cheek. Merlin beamed.

“Would I still have to serve the food?” Merlin said crinkling his nose in disgust. Arthur almost coughed on his laughter.

“No, definitely not. We can make Gaius do it.” 

“I’ll hold you do that your majesty.” They laughed and kissed, one of the fishing poles began twitching but neither cared as they kissed some more.

"Oh one more thing Merlin." They broke apart and Arthur looked at him seriously.

"I could really use your help with a problem."

"What problem is that?" Merlin asked. 

"How we're going to take the throne of Camelot back from my father."


	7. Bloody lips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new problem arises in regards to Emrys. Something that could change the situation forever

Arthur and Merlin returned to Camelot in disguise, magicked into being older by a spell Merlin knew. Arthur complained about his back the entire time and couldn’t believe Merlin was the dodgy old sorcerer from so long ago. They put feelers out, spread rumours about Arthur returning to take the throne. Setting up a secret location to meet those loyal to Arthur, both were surprised when dozens and dozens of people arrived. It seemed that murdering suspected family members had a negative effects on people’s loyalty. Everything was coming together.

While not busy planning and organizing the coup and battle strategies Merlin and Arthur stole precious few moments to be alone together. Sharing thoughts, doubts, easing into their courtship and the changing of their dynamic. It was awkward at times but slowly and surely they adjusted to their growing affections. Fortunately while their romance was budding Arthur managed to keep a vigilant watch on Merlin. There were a few close calls but Arthur managed to shield Merlin from any injury or mishap with the help of Gwen and Gaius. All three were constantly shocked by what a dangerous world it was especially for one as clumsy as Merlin.

For a few blessed weeks everything was smooth and their plans were moving forward on schedule. Tomorrow night they would infiltrate the castle and unseat the tyrannical rule of Uther. Arthur could feel his nerves running high, he would not only be facing his father after being exiled, he would be there committing treason. No matter the reason, history was full of treacherous and power hungry rulers stealing power from their relatives. No matter how much he told himself he was right and just and that it was for the people his father’s scowling face swam behind his eyes, treason echoed in his ears and he could smell the copper of blood. 

There was a knock at the door and Arthur almost jumped as Merlin poked his head in. His smile fell from his face and he quietly slipped in and closed the door. Gwen had been kind enough to let them stay at her home before the battle.

“You seem tense.” He said slowly walking forward.

“How observant.” He said dripping with sarcasm and then wincing at his own words as Merlin stopped his approach. 

“I’m sorry I.” He sighed out, clenching his fists. He felt Merlin’s hand slide on his shoulder.

“You can tell me Arthur.”

“I’m worried.”

“I can see that much you pratt. I meant why.” Arthur barely managed a small smile. 

“What makes me different than him?” Merlin rolled his eyes.

“I’m serious Merlin. What makes me different from him, or any other person in my family’s long history of usurping thrones for power or murdering their own families. Will this be how history remembers me? The mad son of a mad king, squabbling for control? Merlin up until a few months ago I was just the same as him, I idolized him and everything he stood for. What does that say about me or my conviction?” Arthur said looking at Merlin and running his hands through his hair. He stopped at Merlin grabbing his hands and gently pulling them back down again. He held firm and just stared into Arthur’s eyes.

“Do you really think I’m thick enough to let someone else like Uther take the throne.” Arthur sputtered but Merlin shushed him.

“I’m serious too Arthur. Do you think any of us follow you because you’re a petty prince? Think you’re that good at charming people into following you?” 

“Well I charmed you didn’t I?” He said with a lopsided grin. Merlin shook his head.

“Just barely, and it was mostly your compassion and incredible physique that did the talking.” Arthur looked down at himself.

“Like my physique do you?”

“You could maybe go without dessert a few nights a week.” Arthur and Merlin were slowly inching closer, their noses just barely rubbing.

“Do you want to kiss me or not?”

“Are you done stressing about your morals?”

“Haven’t decided yet.” Merlin smiled and closed the distance. They kissed long and slow. Arthur loved kissing Merlin. There wasn’t any sparks or fireworks but the way he leaned into the kiss and gave it everything he had drove Arthur wild. Merlin melted into him, his lips were soft, and he made the cutest noises like he couldn’t breathe and was fine to suffocate in Arthur. He loved it, if he was being honest it made him feel special. A powerful and beautiful sorcerer could probably love anyone and he still chose Arthur. He acted like Arthur was the only man in the world. 

“Merlin?” he whispered. Merlin broke the kiss to stare at him with blown eyes. He looked almost drowsy. 

“Do you um, that is I would be, ahem, I-”

“Out with it or start kissing me again.” Merlin said breathlessly. Arthur smiled.

“Would you care to join me tonight?” He asked his voice cracking slightly. Merlin blinked in surprise.

“Oh…” he said quietly and bit his lip in contemplation.

“I’m not sure. I mean, I’ve thought about it plenty, but…” Arthur kissed Merlin’s forehead.

“It’s okay, I understand.”

“No… it’s not.” Arthur frowned and pulled back to look down at Merlin. Glowing green eyes stared back at him. 

“How?” Arthur stepped back as Emrys revealed a bit tongue, blood seeping in his mouth.

“I was mad he wasn’t taking the chance.” Emrys said stepping back up against Arthur.

“Let’s do it, lover boy.” Arthur struggled to grab Emrys’ wandering hands.

“No! Emrys, Merlin said he wasn’t ready. Not to be rude but even if he were I still wouldn’t sleep with you.” Emrys stilled and his face morphed into a snarl.

“Emrys get out of Merlin’s body. You know I can’t let you stay in control.” Emrys shoved and Arthur went flying against the door. He slid to the ground with a grunt.

“You can’t let me? You know that you’re powerless against me.”

“This conversation is getting old, Emrys.”

“Then maybe it’s time for something new.” Emrys began gathering magic.

“Emrys stop!” Suddenly the door split open behind Arthur. He covered his head and fell against the floor.

“What’s going on!?” Arthur snapped his head up and saw Morgana standing in the doorway. Eyes glowing golden.

“Merlin?” Emrys smirked.

“Guess again witch.” Black magic swirled and struck at Morgana. With a hand gesture the door fragments flew in front and blocked the attack.

“Merlin stop this!” she shouted as she flung him against a wall. He laughed and magically threw the table at her. It crashed against her and she fell to the floor.

“Morgana, it’s not Merlin. Emrys is a changeling that has possessed Merlin!” She grunted and got up.

“Get out of my friend!” She shouted and magically lifted him into the air. She began chanting in a strange language. 

“Projiciam vos a facie mea mediocris a malo!” Emrys began shrieking, the wings fluttered rapidly.

“If I go! He goes with me!” Emrys shouted as blood began pouring from their nostrils. 

“Morgana stop!” Arthur cried desperately. She cursed and halted the spell. Emrys fell to the floor and started laughing as he spat blood

“You weak fools.” 

“How’s this for weak?” Morgana asked as she strode forward and punched him in the jaw. He collapsed instantly, the wings turning to mist as he did. 

“What the hell was that about?” Arthur groaned and got to his feet.

“It’s… complicated.”

“Well I can see that. I leave for what a few weeks and Merlin gets possessed by a bloody changeling? Those things are dangerous Arthur.”

“I know Morgana, He’s been possessed for a while now.”

“Out with it then, because I don’t know how comfortable I am with this thing being close to my little brother.” Arthur walked over the Merlin picked him up gently and placed him tenderly in one of the beds.

“Okay, I’ll tell you. It’s a long story so you might as well get comfortable.” They sat down at the table and Arthur told her everything. Morgana was stoic as she heard the whole story only making a cry of outrage upon finding out Emrys had attacked Gwen. She asked a few questions at the end.

“Does this mean Emrys can now come out whenever? He took credit for the bit lip, does this mean he’s getting stronger?” Arthur shrugged with dejection. Morgana reached across the table.

“Arthur, you have to tell him. He can’t go on in the dark like this.” Arthur sighed.

“I know. I just want to wait until we attack Camelot. One problem at a time you know?” Morgana tsked.

“Arthur we’re going into battle, that’s why I came back. We can’t be focused on overthrowing our father while also making sure Merlin remains scratch free. It will be nearly impossible especially when he’ll be actively fighting and risking his life for you.” Arthur nodded.

“I don’t know if I can do it alone.” He said quietly and Morgana squeezed his hand.

“I’ll find Gwen and Gaius, I’m certain they’ll understand.” Arthur smiled at her as she got up and swept through the doorway. Waving a hand and fixing the door as she left.


	8. Truth and Iron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revelations and decisions are made

When Merlin came to, there was noise, no that wasn’t right, there was chatter. People talking in hushed voices and semi frantic tones. Merlin blinked and rubbed his head groaning. Everything was sore. 

“Merlin?” Asked Arthur, Merlin smiled dopely.

“You’re okay, I was so worried when I saw…” Merlin paused as he looked past Arthur and saw Morgana standing there with Gwen and Gaius. Merlin smiled at her.

“Morgana! It’s been so long, I’m glad to see you looking well. How goes saving the children? Arthur and I are so proud.” She smiled tensely.

“It’s going well Merlin, thank you for asking. I wish our reunion was under better circumstances.

“Merlin I haven’t been completely honest with you.” That made Merlin pause.

“Why, what’s going on?” He demanded Arthur sat on the bed and sighed deeply.

“Do you remember when you bound the changeling to yourself? ” Merlin nodded, not understanding what that had to do with anything.

“Well it turns out there was an unexpected side effect to your binding spell. It turns out that the changeling bound to you physically. Since Changeling’s become a more… negative version of yourself, whenever you get hurt or injured the changeling takes control of your body.” He said slowly. Merlin shook his head.

“That doesn’t make any sense. I think I would know Arthur.” Arthur only shook his head.

“Do you remember when you fell in the river?” Merlin nodded still uncertain what all of this meant.

“I didn’t find you floating in the river, I found you beside it, but you were… well you weren’t quite your usual self… you had wings.” Merlin barked out a laugh.

“Good one Arthur, I very clearly do not have wings.” Arthur didn’t laugh.

“You can’t be serious.” Arthur looked at him with such sympathy.

“You had pointed ears, and you were, well aggressive.” Merlin shook his head.

“Only when you’d gotten what you’d wanted did you change back, with no memories of what had happened. I was wet because you hurled me into the river.” Merlin felt his jaw drop.

“Arthur I would never hurt you, even when you’re being a pratt.”

“I know, but Emrys…” 

“Who’s Emrys?” Arthur glanced at Gaius who only nodded.

“Emrys is what the fae calls himself. Emrys Le Fay.” What the hell?

“That’s ridiculous my name is Merlin!” He shouted at Arthur, Gwen covered her mouth and turned around, Morgana rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.

“Emrys told me he wasn’t Merlin, all he wanted was to hurt me, sometimes Gwen, Morgana more recently. He likes maiming animals, causing mischief with his magic.” Arthur said still holding Merlin’s hands. It was all too much.

“I don’t know what kind of sick game this is but it isn’t funny!” He shouted as he stood yanking his hands from Arthur’s. 

“Why are you doing this to me? I thought we were friends… more than friends.” 

“I just wanted to make sure you didn’t blame yourself. You have such a big heart that I knew if you found out you’d feel guilty. I didn’t want you to worry about it since there’s nothing we can really do about it. Gaius has been looking for cures and spells and potions but we can’t find anything. Besides you’ve never done anything too dangerous… a few scrapes and bruises but we’re fine Merlin really.” Arthur said dejectedly.

“How could you even think that was okay?! All this time I’ve been a danger to you, my friends, this camp? Why would keeping me in the dark be the right answer!?” Arthur narrowed his eyes.

“If I recall correctly, you lied to me several times about yourself.” 

“Because your father’s law would have had me killed Arthur! A law you only stopped supporting when it affected you!” Merlin shouted and Arthur reared back like he’d been slapped and turned away from him.   
“How dare you” Gwen said quietly, Merlin blinked and looked at her in confusion. She was scowling at him.

“You have witnessed first hand the changes Arthur has made into becoming a better man, all for you. You know Arthur has a big heart and that he cares so deeply for his people and the people he now defends. Have you even paused to consider the toll this has taken on our future king?” She demanded.

“Well I-”

“No, you haven’t. Because unlike Arthur you weren’t taught from birth that magic was evil. You haven’t had to come to the realization that everything you thought you knew was wrong and that the person to blame for that is the very man who raised you.” She was practically shaking with anger.

“I ne-”

“I. Am. Not. Finished. Merlin.” She said and Merlin shut his mouth.

“Ever since that incident with the Changeling I have never once heard him complain, whine, or even speak ill of this situation. He has embraced these changes gracefully, especially when it came to Emrys. You have to understand Merlin that Arthur has done everything in his power to make a better life for you. I think the least you could do is show him some understanding if he decided he wanted to keep all that pain and sadness and hardship from you. Pain that has affected him and me.” She said pointing to herself. Merlin was stunned into silence and trying to blink away tears.

“Be mad if you wish, but it’s important you understand that your anger is misplaced and that Arthur doesn’t deserve it. Neither do I.” She said as tears poured from her eyes. She gave him one last scathing look before exiting the tent. 

“I’m sorry Merlin…” Morgana said softly ducking her head as she walked out after Gwen. Merlin didn’t understand, Gwen hardly ever lost her temper. Gaius walked foreword this time, slowly as if Merlin were a frightened animal. 

“Merlin, we’ve all seen it. Part of the creature latched onto your soul, it forms by feeding off of and amplifying your flaws and vices. Your selfish desires, your anger. It’s a mirror of the traits you bury deep down or try not to have in order to be a good person.” Merlin shook his head rapidly. It couldn’t be true. He looked back at Arthur tears streaming down his face.

“How often has this happened?” his voice barely a whisper. Arthur looked down.

“Every time you thought it was a sleeping spell it was really you waking up from being Emrys Le fay.” Arthur said meeting Merlin’s eyes. Merlin felt a sob in the back of his throat. He covered his eyes.

“Merlin…” He heard Arthur approach but Merlin jumped away. Arthur looked like Merlin had kicked him.

“Don’t come close, I don’t want to hurt you anymore.” He said folding his hands in on himself. He couldn’t trust his own body anymore. Arthur surged forward and wrapped Merlin in his arms tightly. Merlin struggled but Arthur was stronger.

“You listen to me Merlin, it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care that you have this thing inside you. I care so deeply about you. I know you would never try to hurt me. I don’t blame you and I trust you completely. Do you hear me?” Merlin sniffled and nodded against Arthur’s chest. Arthur rubbed Merlin’s back slowly and reassuringly.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” he asked as tears still stained his cheeks and Arthur’s shirt. 

“Because I knew it would hurt you to know the truth. You’re such a kind person Merlin, you have one of the biggest hearts and strongest wills to do good.” Arthur said pulling back and cupping Merlin’s face in his hands.

“Merlin, it’s okay, we’re all here to help you get through this. I have faith that you’re stronger than Emrys. We’re telling you now because tonight it changed. Tonight Emrys bit your tongue and drew blood. We’re worried he can start taking control all on his own” Merlin looked at his mentor wiping his face. Refusing to let that news break him.

“Have you found anything?” He hated how hopeful he sounded. Gaius shook his head slowly.

“The only possible solution I can think of at the moment is wearing iron. As you know it’s dangerous to the fae folk and weakens our own magic.” He told Merlin.

“But I’m still looking, there is much to read in the books I brought over from Camelot, don’t lose hope Merlin.” He said smiling.

Merlin held his head in his hands and sat back down on the bed. With an uttered word Iron chains appeared and shackled him to the bed.

“Merlin? What on Earth are you doing? Stop!” He cried out but Merlin held up a hand and Arthur froze in place. His eyes glowed golden and the chains wrapped around his arms, but it was slow and jerky. Iron felt heavy on his skin, his magic was already dwindling being bound like this. Without even meaning to the spell holding Arthur faded. Arthur just stood in shock.

“Merlin please, you don’t have to do this.” Arthur approached but Merlin turned his head away.

“Only until it can be reversed Arthur. I have to keep you and everyone safe. Please don’t unchain me until it’s over.” He said with a shaky voice.

“Okay but I’m not leaving you.” Arthur said stepping forward again. Merlin shook his head.

“You have to, you’re the one I don’t want to hurt the most.” He said Arthur reached toward him but Merlin leaned away from him. 

“You should go. Tomorrow is a big day. You need all the rest you can get.” Arthur turned and started walking out.

“Goodbye Merlin, I will be back…” He said as he left. Merlin cried until he fell asleep.

When Merlin awoke a few hours later he found a plate of food laid out for him and was surprised to see Gwen sitting on the ground next to his bed.

“Gwen?” He asked, and she smiled at him looking away from her sewing, she was mending Morgana’s riding clothes. Morgana had never excelled at stitch work. 

“Morning sleepy head, or rather good afternoon since it’s quite late into the day.” Merlin sat up with some difficulty considering he was still bound in irons.

“What are you doing here?” He asked. She set down her work and moved to the food.

“I’m making sure you eat something.” She said with a slight nod.

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t you start Merlin.” She said pointing a finger in his face as she held up bread that he gratefully accepted.

“It’s like Arthur tried to tell you, we don’t care. What’s done is done. Besides it’s Morgana you should apologize to.” She said with a soft smile. Merlin nodded. She had taken a few bruises last night

“She does deserve one, If she’ll see me, maybe you can tell her to come see me?” He said sheepishly.

“I’m right here.” Merlin whirled and there she was sitting in a chair sharpening her sword and dressed in armor.

“Arthur isn’t the only one who can use a sword around here.” She said with a wink and continued working.

“I’m so-”

“Merlin enough apologizing.” She said waving dismissively.

“Let’s talk action, what do you plan to do about Emrys?” Morgana asked looking up at him. Merlin shrugged helplessly.

“In order to make up for my past misdeeds I went on a quest to help bring magic users to Arthur, rogue druid tribes, seers, healers. Anyone not safe from Uther. Expanding Arthur’s ranks, and spreading the word about his change of heart to anyone who cared to listen.” Merlin blinked at her. 

“I’m not saying you have to go questing or do some grand gesture, but you need a plan of action that isn’t just sitting here chained up feeling sorry for yourself and hiding from the problem. Especially when it hurts those who care about you most.” She said gently.

“Morgana you’ve become quite wise in your travels.” Gwen said beaming at her. Morgana smirked.

“I can still be quite a fool sometimes, I mean I am Uther’s daughter.” Gwen and Merlin chuckled.

“Well I think you’re amazing.”

“Thank you Gwen.” They shared a look and Merlin blushed, feeling he was intruding on their moment.

“I finished polishing, so I think I’m ready for tonight. Think about what I said Merlin. Goodnight you two.”

“Thank you Morgana.” Merlin said earnestly and she smiled at him as she left. Gwen helped him finish eating and then brushed her hands off standing.

“I better go too, I have to be ready to do my part. Goodnight Merlin, I’ll be back tomorrow for breakfast and lunch.” She said pointing at him meaningfully before exiting as well. Merlin sighed and started shifting in the irons. He supposed he was being a bit dramatic and tried to wiggle out of them. It was a bit difficult and Merlin tried to use magic but he was already weak. He jangled uselessly for a few moments before giving up.

“Need some help?” came a soft voice and Merlin glanced up to see Arthur standing at the doorway. Merlin nodded. Arthur smirked.

“It’s okay Merlin.” He said softly and slowly leaned in for a kiss. Merlin sighed against Arthur’s lips. The chains clinked and slid from Merlin’s arms and body, instantly their hands were roaming each other, grabbing desperately.

“Merlin?” Arthur said breaking a part.

“What?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too Arthur.” Then they were kissing again. Arthur pulled Merlin to his feet and then hefted him in his arms. Merlin moaned slightly and wrapped his legs around Arthur’s waist, Arthur’s strong hands gripped Merlin’s waist then drifted down and down until he was kneading Merlin’s ass. Merlin gasped and tightened his hold on Arthur.

“I’m surprised it isn’t all bone down there.” Arthur said against Merlin’s ear. Merlin snorted.

“You have enough ass for both of us.” Arthur laughed as he kissed along Merlin’s jawline.

“Do you want me to slow down” Arthur asked pulling back. Merlin blushed and looked away.

“I don’t know, I’ve never… well not with anyone else at least.” He drifted off but Arthur grinned at him.

“Whenever you’re ready.” Merlin sagged with relief and Arthur held him tight.

“You’ll be the first to know, your highness.” Arthur set Merlin down gently and held his hands.

“I love you so much Merlin. We can figure this all out, together, I promise.” He whispered and wrapped his arms around him.

“Will you be joining us tonight for the battle?” Merlin shook his head.

“I think it’s too risky. Besides you have Morgana, if she can take Emrys in a fight then she’s more than capable of protecting your sorry hide.” Arthur grinned.

“I’ll come for you when it’s all over.” He kissed Merlin’s hand and then gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“Until later.” Merlin said as Arthur left once more.

Merlin waited until Arthur and the rest of the knights and druids left. With the cover of darkness he left Camelot. He would miss that arrogant fool, so much. He had to force his legs to start moving. One foot in front of the other. He got ten steps before he looked back, his shoulders sagging. He just wanted to run back to him, so strongly that it ached. He actually ached. Walking forward again he forced himself to think of the injuries he had caused, all the bloody scrapes and ugly bruises he’d seen. 

He couldn’t bear to cause any more harm, so even though every step felt like a step away from his still beating heart he pressed on. Merlin paused by the blacksmith forge that was only a little ways away from Gwen’s home. He picked up iron scraps, chains, and any craft he could find, he whispered a slight enchantment and the metal snaked up his arms and became bracelets, rings, necklaces, and earrings. He winced as the metal pierced his ears, with a weak enchantment the pain went away. He’d wear the iron always until he was certain Emrys wasn’t a threat.


	9. Isolation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin isolates himself, or at least tries to. Meeting a stranger in the woods proves to be eye opening and annoying all at once.

He knew exactly where he needed to go, where he could go to get away from Arthur and protect him all at once. When he was far enough from the kingdom he created a ball of light to light his way. It only made him think of the time he helped Arthur through the cave, Arthur’s smile, his teasing, everytime their hands brushed together. He had to stop and take a breath to keep the sobs inside. His mind bitterly wanted to blame the fae themselves for having such a creature as the changeling. He shook his head, what was done was done, so he kept walking focusing on his destination and trying extra hard not to stumble so he’d fall and release Emrys.

Hours passed in a miserable blur, forcing himself to go slow over obstacles jumping at every sound, thinking of Arthur, it was only when sunlight began to slip through the trees that Merlin could see he was close to the lake. He sighed in relief, finally. By the time he reached the shore day had broken the night, and the water shimmered in the morning rays. Stretching out his hand he saw Freya, the lady in the lake extend her own hand and tossed Merlin the sword Excalibur. He remembered her fondly and hoped she would be happy knowing he’d found love again, if only briefly. As if hearing his thoughts Freya’s spirit rose to the surface and smiled sweetly at Merlin before vanishing again in the depths.

Merlin set to work immediately. Setting up his meager camp and taking the iron jewelry off, then beginning his complicated enchantments. He began casting every spell he could think of that warded off magic, specifically malevolent magic. Anything at all that might harm his beloved prince. Merlin chuckled, his nickname for Arthur used to be royal pratt. He sighed as he labored over the sword, perfecting each incantation. By mid day he was exhausted. He could barely focus on anything. He swayed and laid down but fell a little too quickly and hit his head hard on the ground. He hissed and then widened his eyes in panic before everything went black.

When Merlin woke again he realized he had no idea where he was. He looked around jolting upright. He sighed in relief when he saw that the lake wasn’t far off but it immediately fell when he saw what was on the ground. Animal carcasses scattered all around in mangled forms, a few trees were on fire, some were even felled. He covered his mouth only to realize his mouth was covered in blood, and he was shirtless again. Merlin sank to his knees and wept bitterly once more.

After he’d put out the fires before they could spread, he walked aimlessly over to the lakeside and saw that Excalibur, feeling relief that perhaps his spells were working and Emrys couldn’t affect the blade. Merlin continued enchanting the sword so that he couldn’t even touch it in case Emrys tried any funny business. He finally stopped late into the night and let the sword bathe in the moonlight to solidify the magic.

Next morning Merlin performed a simple enchantment that teleported the sword to Arthur’s side along with a note that told Arthur not to come after him and explained why Merlin had left and what the sword was for. He then left the lake after readorning himself in Iron and continued moving deeper into the forest and away from Arthur. This time avoiding knowing the direction and not having a destination in mind so that he couldn’t wander back to Arthur by accident or when Emrys emerged. 

Merlin continued like this for almost three days before finding a run down and abandoned hut. Merlin sagged with relief and decided to camp here for a while. Fixing it up and making it a shelter from the elements kept him busy, even beginning a garden so that he didn’t have to think about the rest of his lonely future with only the creature dwelling inside him. He built a fence, set traps, hunted animals despite the way it made his stomach turn at the memory of mangled corpses. He always made sure to use everything so that the creatures didn’t die in vain. He stayed in this hut for many weeks. 

Growing accustomed to his life in solitude was easier than he expected. He felt calm knowing he couldn’t hurt anyone. Naturally a few accidents did happen, tripping, pricking his fingers on thorns, a trapped animal snapping at him. Every time he awoke from a possession was different. Sometimes Emrys had tried to escape the forest and Merlin would have to wander back until he found the hut once more. Sometimes the hut was damaged or smoking so Merlin had to carefully take off the Iron to enchant the hut. Sometimes he’d find more dead animals, sometimes messages in the dirt. With every awakening the magical damage became less and less.

Merlin was so relieved that the iron was taking effect and dimming the magic. However, he did notice that his health was deteriorating. He got sick more often, stayed sick longer, grew weaker every day. He even slept longer, one time he was certain he’d slept over 24 hours and was still exhausted. Merlin knew the Iron was poisoning him. Maybe even killing him, he couldn’t bring himself to care too much. It meant Arthur would be safe. It was close to a month before he was discovered. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a voice behind him while he was gardening.

“Excuse me, can you help me? I’m lost.” Merlin whirled fearing the worst but relaxed marginally when he realized he didn’t recognize the stranger.

“Oh, pardon me, I didn’t mean to scare you handsome.” He bowed.

“My name is Lancelot.”

Merlin’s head hurt, mostly because of the iron jewelry, but partly because Lancelot would not take the goddamn hint. He’d lingered in Merlin’s camp for three days. The first day was because it rained and he claimed he needed shelter from the storm and grudgingly Merlin agreed. After the rain Merlin got another cold so Lancelot stayed to tend him. Thankfully Merlin recovered the next day but Lancelot stayed to repair anything broken that he could find in the hut or the fence or the traps Merlin had laid. 

Merlin was at his wits end especially when Lancelot was so charming and caring, flirting whenever he could and giving Merlin suggestive winks. Merlin brushed it all aside and didn’t respond but he had to get Lancelot out of his camp before another accident happened. 

“Lancelot, please, you can not stay here much longer.” Merlin said as Lancelot placed wood in a fire pit to start cooking. He glanced up at Merlin from his crouched position.

“Are you telling me you don’t want me to make stew?” He asked innocently. Merlin’s stomach growled. Merlin massaged his temples.

“Traitorous body.” He grumbled.

“I promise to be out of your hair once I know you’re fed.” He said as he stood to retrieve a small pot from his sack.

“Look, it’s not that I don’t appreciate what you’re doing. It’s been wonderful that you’ve stopped traveling to help repair my hovel and cook for me and help mend my clothes and loan me a blanket for the night. It’s all fantastic, but it’s just not safe for you here.” Merlin tried. Lancelot shrugged.

“I’ve been in my fair share of sticky situations. Whatever trouble you are, I accept the risks.” Merlin shook his head but didn’t protest any further. He was so tired.

“I know you’d prefer to be rid of me, but I am growing very curious about you. I hope you can forgive if I pry a little bit and ask what you’re doing out here alone?” He asked glancing at Merlin as he made stew.

“I’m… uh in exile.” He said, his head ache was growing stronger. 

“For what?” Lancelot asked.

“Black magic.” He dead panned. Lancelot gave him a measured look.

“You know, I hear prince Arthur has taken the throne from his father and sheltering magic folk. If you-” Merlin stood abruptly and turned away fighting back tears. It’d been weeks, maybe even months, Merlin had honestly lost track of time. Arthur’s name still drove a dagger through his heart no matter how many minutes ticked by. 

“Was it something I said?” Lancelot sounded remorseful. Why was he so kind and chivalrous?

“Just forget it okay? I can’t go back, or else I could hurt the people I love.” He said saying it out loud.

“There’s another man isn’t there?” Merlin looked over his shoulder at Lancelot and nodded.

“He’s a lucky man.” His smile was genuine.

“No he isn’t! Don’t you understand! I could hurt him or even kill him!” He shouted finally snapping and letting all the frustration boil out. He’d been trying exorcism after banishment and any other kind of spell he could think of to be rid of the fae magic latched onto his soul.

“He’s definitely lucky, I mean look at your face in the fire light. Merlin you’re beautiful.” Merlin rolled his eyes and rubbed his forehead some more.

“And to sacrifice the thing you want most for their safety… I’d be the happiest man alive to have someone love me that much.” His voice had the smallest hint of wistful. 

“Merlin if he loves you as much as you love him, you must know that being parted from you is torture for him right?” Merlin frowned at him.

“But, he’s safe and he can’t miss me that much, I’m clumsy and forgetful, a little lazy if I’m being honest. Plus I lied to him for a while, and I’m just awful at hunting and completely useless in a fight without my magic. I’m hopeless.” He said shrugging, deep inside some of the sadness he kept away also bubbled to the surface. He was certain Arthur could find love again, Arthur was… Arthur. He was beautiful, brave and strong, so caring for his people, willing to do whatever it takes. Merlin smiled faintly at the thought of Arthur.

“Merlin, nothing you listed were terrible traits. They sound endearing if anything. I bet Arthur is enamored with you.” He said as he stirred the stew.

“Well I think he’ll be alright. Plus he has other important things to focus on, like the ruling the kingdom and repairing the damage of his father.” Merlin said. When Lancelot didn’t say anything he looked at him to see his mouth hanging open.

“You’re in love with prince Arthur!?” He exclaimed. Merlin blushed as he realized he’d let it slip.

“Well if I thought I had a chance before, that confession killed any inkling. A literal prince. Well at least it’s someone worthy of you.” Merlin shook his head.

“You don’t understand, something happened. I was affected by bad magic. Now a creature lives inside of me, it brings out my worst, makes me violent and aggressive, I’ve already hurt him.” He said miserably.

“He’s better off without me, especially since he wasn’t the only one hurt.” Lancelot stood, bringing the stew over and sitting beside Merlin.

“How were you infected with this dark magic?” Lancelot asked as he placed the pot in a cloth and pulled out a spoon.

“A creature was attacking Arthur. I bound the creature so it wouldn’t harm him but my spell backfired and it bound the creature to my body.” Lancelot looked at him sharply.

“Merlin, have you considered that Arthur feels guilty that you’ve been infected because of him?” Frowning Merlin shook his head. Lancelot chuckled. 

“Merlin, he probably blames himself. He probably sees you as sacrificing yourself for him. No doubt he’s torn up because now it’s lead to you running away.” Merlin went to protest but stopped. Could it be true? Did Arthur blame himself? Lancelot smiled.

“I know I’m right. I’d feel just awful if my lover took a possession for me.”

“We weren’t lovers at the time.”

“And you still saved his life? Jesus Merlin you two are practically soul mates. That kind of love is hard to find.”

“We didn’t really find it.” Merlin said staring off thinking of how much he hated Arthur when they first met and smiled.

“It grew.” He said simply. Lancelot seemed confused.

“Love isn’t something you stumble into on accident, it needs to be planted, watered, fed, tended. If it gets sick you need to treat it. It’s work, but it’s so rewarding, especially when it finally blooms.” Merlin said thinking of their first kiss and all that had lead up to it. How he knew that Arthur was someone he could love in that moment from everything he’d seen and everything they’d been through.

“See, he is a lucky man.” Lancelot said handing Merlin the pot. Merlin smiled sheepishly.

“Careful it’s hot” Lancelot said right as Merlin took a big bite and gasped as he burnt his tongue. He winced in pain and then widened his eyes in terror.

“Oh no! Run!” He shouted standing so fast the pot fell to the ground and everything went black.

Lancelot stared in awe as Wings sprouted from Merlin’s back. He shed his shirt with a sigh and stretched upward. When he opened his eyes they were bright green. Lancelot squinted and noticed Merlin’s ears were even pointed.

“Finally, some time with you all to myself.” Emrys said as he immediately stradled Lancelot and kissed him full on the mouth. Lancelot was stunned and kissed back for a second relishing in the feeling of Merlin on him but pushed back.

“Merlin what’s going on?” He asked, Merlin groaned.

“My name is Emrys!” He shouted slapping Lancelot and then kissing his cheek right after.

“Merlin isn’t nearly as fun a s Emrys Le Fay anyway.” He whispered in Lancelot’s ear.

“Because of him we’re still a virgin.” He whined. Lancelot gulped.

“What do you say traveler, one bed at the small price of popping my cherry. Or I can pop yours, I’m flexible.” He giggled and even though Lancelot was oh so tempted he stood and pushed Merlin again, or rather Emrys. Emrys glided back from Lancelot.

“No of course not, chivalry lives!” He said cackling as he stumbled and almost fell in the fire and laughed harder. Lancelot didn’t understand what he’d tripped on since his feet hadn’t yet touched the earth.

“God You and Merlin are perfect for each other. So boring and full of Morals.” He said twisting up his face in a scowl as he whirled on Lancelot and threw his arms around his neck.

“Come on Lance, have some fun, if you won’t ravage me you can at least enjoy a show!” He cackled, lancelot tried to tell him off when he saw Emrys had reached down his pants and began pleasuring himself.

“Emrys!” He shouted in a higher voice than normal. Emrys rolled his head back.

“Your turn.” His voice was low with lust.

“Emrys stop, I don’t know how long I can control myself!” Lancelot was hard as a rock even though he knew it was wrong.

“I never get to have any fun, Merlin is always in charge, he never let’s me loose, even when a beautiful man would do anything to be with him.” He grinned wickedly. Lancelot shook his head in shame.

“Emrys Merlin was there first. I think if you were more like him people would like you more.” Emrys stilled and turned toward Lancelot pulling his hand from his pants.

“Do you really not like me?” He said so quietly, Lancelot almost didn’t catch it. He blinked at the sudden softness.

“Well, you are a helluva kisser, that’s something.” He said trying to shrug it off. Emrys cackled.

“Come on, please play with me? Use me, neither of us can be with who we want, Merlin is taken by Arthur, and Arthur never plays with me. I need some satisfaction.” He begged stepping closer. Lancelot held up his hand.

“Not when it’s Merlin’s body and he would object. Maybe if Merlin wanted it I would agree but he doesn’t.”

“Don’t you see? He does, I’m a changeling Lance, I grow from his flaws and selfish hidden desires. I’m a part of him, so a part of him desires you.” Emrys said sauntering over but almost fell down again. Lancelot admitted that at least now it made sense. Emrys picked at the jewelry that adorned his arms and throat and ears. He itched and scratched like they irritated him. Lancelot understood immediately that Merlin put them there to keep Emrys at bay.

“You have no magic.” He said and Emrys stuck his tongue out.

“Emrys listen, I know it probably goes against your nature but I’m guessing that if you’re anything like Merlin then you are hopelessly clueless. I bet you anything that Merlin and Arthur only want you gone because you hurt people. If you were to dial back your more nasty impulses I bet they’d let you share Merlin’s body.” Emrys squinted at him.

“Share?”

“Yeah, if you promise to stop hurting people, maybe they could even grow to like you.” He said with a shrug.

“Changeling’s aren’t supposed to be loved.” He said slowly.

“We aren’t even wanted by other fae, left behind in exchange for the better version. Human souls sent to the fae world for enjoyment.” Emrys said quietly

“Well you’re not exactly a full changeling are you?” Emrys shook his head and stopped scratching at the jewelry.

“If you can prove to them you can be trusted and decided to be something better than a changeling or just Merlin’s bad qualities. You could even make your own friends. Including me.” Lancelot said with a soft smile. Emrys walked forward and collapsed against Lancelot. WIngs faded, ears shrunk, eyes closed.

“Emrys? Merlin?” He asked.

“Merlin!” Came a cry from the distance, Lancelot looked up in time to see a blonde man crash through the trees and scan the area, his eyes stopping on Lancelot holding Merlin. Oh shit, was all Lancelot thought when Arthur lunged at him, drawing a sword and letting out a truly terrifying battle cry.


	10. Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Merlin consummate their relationship after so long a part. 
> 
> (Sooo this chapter is mostly smut, if you're the kind of person who isn't interested in sex scenes I'll leave little marks where it starts and ends. I promise you won't miss anything vital to the plot except for mush. Coincidently if you're the person who is reading only for the smut you can use the same markers to weed out the none juicy stuff. Enjoy!)

Arthur knew he was being rash and reckless but he was so angry, he’d just spent the last few weeks searching for the love of his goddamn life only to find him half naked in the arms of another man. A man ready to fight apparently because he drew a sword to meet Arthur’s blow. Arthur knew he wouldn’t kill the man… probably. He just needed to hit something.

“Prince Arthur I presume?” He asked breathlessly as they strained blade to blade. Somehow him knowing Arthur’s name made him angrier. Maybe he would kill this man.

“And who might you be?” He grunted out behind clenched teeth. 

“Just someone who was looking out for Merlin.” Arthur swung and the blades clashed again.

“Might want to look out for yourself.” He quipped. With an irritatingly nonchalant smile the stranger maneuvered and sent Arthur stumbling forward.

“I’m not worried, Merlin will keep me safe.” Arthur nearly threw his sword right at this smug man’s face. How dare he. Arthur rushed at the man only for a sound to stop him.

“Arthur?” instantly halting in his tracks Arthur locked eyes with a wide eyed Merlin who was sitting up and rubbing his head.

“Merlin.” He said his voice barely a whisper and everything else drifted away as he sank to his knees and hugged Merlin so tightly he feared he might break him. Merlin however was holding on just as tight.

“How did you find me?” He asked bewildered as he buried his face deep into the crook of Arthur’s neck.

“Think an excellent tracker like me would have trouble finding the one man I love? Especially when he has two left feet to easily identify?” Merlin snorted and held him closer.

“I’m sorry I left. I just…” 

“I know.” For a moment they just sat there in each other’s arms.

“Well, I think I’ll be leaving then.” Came the strangers voice and Arthur’s back went rigid. He’d forgotten about him. Merlin laughed drawing Arthur’s gaze.

“Wow you are so jealous.” Arthur opened his mouth to protest but Merlin covered it with his palm.

“Don’t spoil the moment with your prattish mouth.” Then he leaned in and kissed him.

“Thank you Lancelot really, for all your help, and advice.” He said turning to face him. Arthur held his breath but Merlin never moved to get up and kept his arms around Arthur’s neck, leaving Arthur a little bit pleased.

“Anytime Merlin, tell Emrys that the kiss was nice but that he can’t go around kissing whoever he likes.” Before Arthur could even move to kill this Lancelot where he stood he felt warm breath in his ear.

“Arthur, you should thank Lancelot, without his help I might have died out here. You know how useless I am, I promise to make it up to you later tonight.” Arthur swallowed loudly.

“Thank you Lancelot for helping Merlin.” It was hard to say the words especially since Merlin’s hands had slid onto his thigh and was rubbing ever so higher. Who knew Merlin had it in him to be so devious.

“No problem your highness.” With a wave he gathered up his meager sack and began walking away.

“Very good, Arthur, I didn’t know you had it in you.” Merlin kissed from Arthur’s ear all the way to his mouth while that hand kept rubbing further. His heart rate picked up. 

“You can’t distract me Merlin, he said Emrys kissed him.” He said very unconvincingly. 

“I know, but you know I can’t control him. You know what I can control?” Merlin asked pulling back. 

(**start of the smut**)

Arthur raised an eyebrow as Merlin’s eyes glowed bright gold. His trousers began unravelling at the seams. Arthur watched in growing amazement and arousal as the thread unspun until Merlin was naked in Arthur’s lap. His throat went dry.

“Gods you are beautiful.” Arthur breathed out. Merlin flushed, his eyes glowed once more and Arthur’s shirt was whisked over his head.

“Merlin, are you sure?” he asked as he resisted the urge to run his hands all over Merlin’s beautiful body. Merlin bit his lip gently and nodded.

“All I’ve been able to think about is that I should’ve let you have your way with me the night before I left. All I can remember is the feel of your skin against mine every time we kissed. So if you’re ready, and since you’ve come all this way for me, I think I want to lose my virginity to you.” Arthur gulped and smiled nervously at him.

“I’d be honored, and if we’re being honest?” he leaned closer and whispered in Merlin’s ear.

“You’re taking my virginity as well.” Merlin sucked in a breath and kissed Arthur instantly. Arthur laid back and pulled Merlin down with him running his hands all over Merlin’s body, his back, his chest, his arms. Merlin mewled and let out the most beautiful sound Arthur had ever heard. They were pressing against each other hard, the kiss was sloppy, chastity was being thrown to the wind. They were desperate for as much sensation as possible. Merlin sucking on Arthur’s lips and nipping at them playfully. Arthur was running his tongue all over Merlin’s mouth. They broke a part to catch their breath and a little trail of saliva connected their mouths.

They both giggled as Merlin wiped his face. 

“Sorry for the mess.” He said sheepishly.

“Don’t be, I intend to make even more of a mess.” Arthur said with a wink, Merlin fell forward and they were back to their sloppy kissing, not caring about the mess or any awkward moments. Tonight they were exploring each other and discovering any sensations they could. Merlin sat back up and began grinding on Arthur’s lap, he grinned and then winced when Merlin pressed to hard.

“Oh sorry!” Arthur held up his hand to wave the worry away.

“Can I guide you?” he asked staring into Merlin’s eyes as his hands drifted back to Merlin’s cute little ass. Merlin shuddered and nodded, watching Arthur’s hands as they made contact with his flesh. Merlin’s mouth fell open and he let out a groan as Arthur gripped his ass more firmly. Arthur loved the feeling of Merlin’s ass in his hands and he gently kneaded the flesh, watching with joy as Merlin’s eyes shut and he leaned into Arthur’s touch. Arthur then began moving Merlin’s hips to rub against his straining erection making both of them moan. Merlin’s eyes flashed open with golden light and like before Arthur’s pants unspooled into thread and whisked off somewhere behind them.

“That might be my favorite spell.” Merlin grinned and glanced down, Arthur followed his gaze. They were both naked, pressed against each other, their cocks hard as stone. Merlin was streaming precome. Arthur wasn’t quite as wet and to his shock Merlin’s dick was bigger.

“Merlin look at you.” He breathed.

“Does it… bother you?” Arthur smiled and shook his head.

“Not at all. Does it bother you?” He said suddenly flooding with insecurity and doubt only for Merlin to shake his head grinning like a fool and chasing away the flood of worry. He gripped their cocks together and Arthur ground upwards into the sensation and throwing his head back to gasp.

“You’re so thick Arthur.” Arthur scowled in mock outrage.

“Great, there’ll be no living with you after this. Innuendos of being thick in the head. Now I’ll get aroused every time you insult me.” He said covering his face in mortification. Merlin leaned down as he began stroking their cocks.

“I promise to fix it every time I insult you.” He whispered as he started moving his hips with his hand. Arthut groaned and leaned up to close the distance between their mouths.

“I’ll hold you to that Merlin.” He grinned as he pulled Merlin down once more. They kissed deeply almost going completely still as they just basked in the feeling of being so close together.

“I think I’m ready now.” Merlin said breathlessly. Arthur gulped as Merlin sat up. He pulled one of Arthur’s hands off his ass and up to his mouth. With a cocky grin he sucked in one of Arthur’s fingers making him grunt in pleasure. 

“Ohhhh Merlin.” He drawled as Merlin continued sucking. His tongue swirling around his finger tip. With a pop he pulled his mouth off only to suck two fingers into his mouth. Arthur was writhing underneath Merlin. He couldn’t believe they hadn’t even started sex yet. 

“You’re not cheating are you?” He asked when Merlin sucked in a third finger.

“How so?”

“You’re not using sorcery to be amazing at sex are you? Because you’re driving me wild Merlin oh my god.” Merlin grinned.

“Nope, I think our first time should be mostly magic free.” Arthur wiggled his eyebrows.

“We definitely need to explore that implication later. Right now though I have to start or I’ll finnish all over your thighs.” Merlin hummed and turned. He flipped his legs so that now his ass was pointed at Arthur’s face. Arthur swallowed as Merlin guided the wet fingers to his hole. Arthur slowly slipped a finger inside and stopped breathing all together at the warmth. He was inside Merlin. Merlin moaned and then his head fell forward. Being so wrapped up in fingering his sorcerer he was caught off guard when Merlin brought his lips to Arthur’s cock.

“Oh my god!” He shouted as Merlin slowly slid his lips down the thick shaft. It felt incredible. Arthur focused his mind. He had to pleasure Merlin the same way. So he started thrusting his finger deeper into Merlin. Merlin moaned around Arthur’s cock, Arthur just moaned. 

“I’m p-putting in another one.” He called out, his voice trembling from the rippling pleasure. Merlin bobbed his head and Arthur stuck a second inside. He moved them and began stretching at Merlins hole. Merlin pulled up to moan.

“I thought you said you were a virgin!” He cried out as Arthur’s fingers spread his hole a part.

“I had to read books on producing an heir, without harming my bride to be.” He said continuing.

“Then my father gave me an awfully awkward conversation on what to do.” He said flushing to his ears. Merlin laughed and started moving his hips into Arthur’s fingers.

“I can’t, it’s time.” Merlin said sliding forward. He turned once more so he was facing Arthur once more. He crouched above Arthur’s dick and leaned down. Arthur held his breath and grabbed Merlin’s thighs to help support him. Then Arthur entered Merlin, Merlin winced as the head pushed inside and Arthur moaned deep and low. Merlin paused for a second resting perched on Arthur’s arms.

“Oh Arthur, it definitely doesn’t bother me.” He said his chest heaving with excitement and arousal. He pressed down more, pausing a few more times until he was fully seated. They stared at each other panting. Then without any spoken word they began moving with each other.

“Oh Arthur, oh god. Fuck!” He said as he slowly slid up and down. Arthur was gripping that beautiful ass and moving his hands over Merlin’s pale skin.

“Yes, that’s it Merlin.” He whispered raggedly. It took a few moments to get a steady rhythm. They chuckled as they awkwardly had to stop and restart a couple times but then they got the hang of it. Merlin was suddenly rocking forward faster and faster. Arthur was moaning loudly as he thrust up to meet Merlin’s rocking. Then they were fucking. Really making love. Breathe coming hard, moans and groans mingling, bodies sliding and crashing against one another. Arthur was thrusting harder and harder making Merlin’s eyes roll in the back of his head.

“Merlin I’m close!” Merlin moved faster than Arthur thought possible and suddenly they were cumming. Arthur pouring his seed deep inside Merlin, Merlin emptying his cock on Arthur’s chest and face. As they did the fire flared impossibly high and bright, Merlin’s eyes were golden and Arthur knew that if he had magic that it would feel like this. They rode out the orgasms and then sat there heaving. Merlin gingerly sat up, sperm dripping from between his thighs.

“Damn, Merlin. Look at you.” Merlin grinned.

“You were right, we did make a bigger mess.” Arthur sat up and pulled Merlin back into his lap again and kissed him gently.

“I love you, Merlin.”

“I love you too Arthur.” They kissed some more and then stood. Merlin grabbed a cloth but Arthur snatched it out of his hand.

“I’m cleaning you up, you’ve cleaned up after me for long enough.” 

“Oh, alright.” Merlin said surprised as Arthur ran the cloth down his thighs and over his soft dick. He then straightened and wiped himself down.

(**end of the smut**)

“Come on, I’ve got a tiny bed in my hut.” Arthur grinned and followed Merlin inside. They slept the rest of the night in each other’s arms.


End file.
